She Lied To Me About Being On Birth Control! Now She Says She Is Pregnant!

Men need to quit being so gullible and easily fooled by their women’s words when it pertains to her body. If what she does to her body effects you as her man then you need to have more proof than her words can provide!

When it comes to your woman and her birth control if you do not see her take anything, go to the doctors to get her birth control etc. then you need to make sure you have your own insurance. CONDOMS gentleman!

But beware because a woman will give you 3 sure lies/excuses when it comes to why she wants to stray away from you utilizing a condom.

           

1. She is allergic to latex

            2. She cannot feel it with a condom

            3. She feels like you don’t “trust” her by wanting to use one

DO NOT be brainwashed by these familiar excuses.

Not all women are out to trap men into paternal matrimony. Not all women are out to have a man’s baby who does not want a baby by them. However, this is not me excluding ALL women; there are women out there who would take drastic measures to keep a man around. 

For some peculiar reason many women have this “it will never happen to me” complex and they choose to lie to their men about being on birth control because they “know” they will not get pregnant. They are not necessarily trying to trap their men; they are trying to feel closer to their men without any sexual boundaries and for some women a condom can feel like a sexual boundary. It can make women feel as if their man is not fully penetrating her as the skin-to-skin contact is slightly reduced. Emotionally, sex attaches women and many want it with no restrictions in hopes to obtain a more sexual bond with their boyfriends/husbands etc.

The above analysis is my take on why SOME women choose to refrain from condoms with their partners whom they hope to be eternally committed to. But let us not neglect that there are women who want a child, want the man in their lives forever and result in lying to their partners about contraceptive methods.

My advice to men is to keep your eyes open. Have you ever seen your woman take a birth control pill? Has she ever explained her method to you? It may sound a bit crazed, but if you are sleeping together without the stability of a condom then you need to be 100% informed that she is being truthful with you about other pregnancy preventive methods. She can be telling you one thing but doing another.

Do not be afraid to ask your woman what kind of pill she is on. What is the IUD? What is the Ring? How long have you been taking it? What time do you take it? Do you need me to go with you to pick up your birth control? These are not crazy questions. You are both committed and trying to prevent something that will change your lives forever therefore both of you need to be in the loop and dedicated to whatever method you choose.

Lets be real, I would say that condoms is always the way to go because birth control alone does not prevent against STDs, BUT, I am being realistic in knowing that many serious relationships refuse to use condoms. I do not judge anyone who does. What I am saying is ladies, make sure you are being honest with your man and do not set your relationship up for an event that the both of you are not ready for. I understand it is your body but when you choose to share it with your man and the possibility arises that you can be bearing his child then it becomes his right to make sure you are taking care of yourself.

You are both in this together so build truth, trust and secure PROTECTION.

The Written Words Of AJT

Now That I Found Love, My Single Friend Sees No Good In It. Are They Jealous?

You want to know the true test of friendship? It often occurs when happiness is a part of your life and not of your friend's. To your friend, your happiness should be all that matters and once you have found it, they should enjoy it with you, not compromise it.

When you and your friend were single, you had each other. You both went out to have a good time and the level of happiness was pretty much the same. Neither of you had a significant other to go home to. However once you found love, you may have found your friendship with your single friend to change.

Your friendship should not change, however your friend’s actions towards what is “fun” should. Now that you are committed to someone the fun that you and your single friend use to have may have to be altered a bit. Going out to the club every weekend picking up new “possibilities” may not be in the best interest of your relationship. Therefore, your friend should understand this and not pressure you to do anything that would conflict or compromise the new love that you have found. When your single friend begins to be a liability or threat to your relationship you really need to reconsider if they have your best interest at heart. If they did, they would see that you were happy and would not pressure you to do anything that would jeopardize that happiness.

I have come across many single individuals who try to ‘hype’ the single life into a world full of untamed, fun, possibilities. They try to make it seem as if being in a committed relationship is a curse and that promiscuity always wins over monogamy. They try with all their might to get their committed friends back to their “single” selves simply because they are tired of being lonely. Now that you are in a committed relationship you may have less time for your friend. This can cause them to feel alone and left out. They may feel as if they have lost a relationship and without thinking of the consequences of their actions, they do anything to try to get you, their newly committed friend, to be single again.

If it is one thing I have learned about some individuals in this world it is that it is easy for them to befriend someone of the same statute as them. They never feel belittled in the presence of someone who has little or the same as them. This all changes when their friend earns or finds something that they too want. Love for instance. So if you find that a few friendships fail to respect your relationship, try to place negativity in your mind about being committed, often urges you to do things that are not best for you now that you are in a relationship then you have probably come in contact with someone who cannot handle seeing you with success that does not belong to them. Realize it and dispose of the friendship. If you are happy your friend should be happy.

The Written Words of AJT

I Want To Forgive My Partner and Move On! Is That Possible?

I use to be the type of person who found cheating to be so inexcusable that forgiveness couldn’t be associated with it.  I found those who cheated to be repulsive, weak willed, disheartened individuals. I had faith that in real love there were no slip ups, mistakes, or cheating if you truly loved, cared, cherished and appreciated the person. Well, I grew up. I realized the one thing that many of us fail to comprehend when it comes to relationships and life in general which is – We are ALL human and that makes us imperfect from creation. Most relationships fail to last after infidelity, lies or deceit takes place. They fail to last because either the love has not grown strong enough to fight the blow or they lack an understanding that their partner will make mistakes.

When your partner makes mistakes it does not mean they love you less or that they no longer believe in your love. Some mistakes happen because for one brief moment judgment is clouded and the consequences are usually never well thought out. The hurt brought on from the mistake fades from the mind and our true wants can become confusing. I am not writing this blog to makes excuses for the ones who are constantly hurting their partners. I am writing this blog for the person who made a mistake towards someone they love, truly care for, cherish and needs in their life. I am writing this blog for someone who is trying to forgive his or her partner and move on.

Cheating is not always committed by a horrible person.

Cheating is not always committed by someone who does not love you.

Cheating is not always committed by a heartbreaker.

Cheating can be committed due to loneliness. Cheating can be committed due to low self-esteem. Cheating can be committed by the most kind hearted individual who was missing something from the person they loved and wrongfully seeked it in someone they care nothing for. It isn’t until the mistake is made that the person realizes the pain and anguish they caused towards their relationship.

If you love your partner and you really know their heart then maybe you have to look within your relationship and understand why they made the mistake. However, most importantly - Before the mistake was made, concerns and desires should have been communicated. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a mistake to wake a person up into realizing what they have or what they are about to lose. Either way, deceiving and hurting someone you love is unjustifiable. STILL, IT IS FORGIVEABLE.

There is nothing like a love that goes through a blow but stands strong. These are the relationships that celebrate the golden anniversaries. These are the relationships where both partners find one another to be perfect for each other but NOT perfect people. These are the relationships that take a wrong, analyze it and FIX it. These are the relationships that keep no record of wrongs, but always take into account the way their partner needs to be loved. These are the relationships that forgive, build, mature and understand the true meaning of FORGIVENESS.

Forgiving partners do not hold wrongs over their lover’s heads. They do not bring up the past in arguments. They do not forgive without allowing their partners to forgive themselves as well. They do not play the hurt victim for too long. They hurt but they think of ways to better their relationship. No one said forgiveness was easy…But when you are loving the RIGHT person. When you are with the RIGHT person forgiveness is something that must be learned and CAN be achieved. 

There is no global standard, generalization or specifics to forgiveness. When we embark on love we must have an understanding of what it truly means to forgive. It is time that more relationships learn, flourish and understand the REAL meaning of FORGIVENESS.

The written words of AJT

"He Says He Will...But Will He Really Ever Leave His Wife For Me?"

Unfortunately, as women we are so willing when it comes to love. We are willing to look past the most destructive tendencies of our partners and far too often we seem willing to play the fool.

When we take on a relationship with a man who is married we automatically claim the title “the OTHER woman”. I do not care if he is telling you he loves you more than his wife, that he respects you more, that he appreciates you more, and that he cares for you more. It doesn’t matter! You are still “the OTHER woman”. The title that you possessed when you began the affair is the title you will forever hold. So as he is telling you he is going to leave his wife this should be the time where your common sense reveals itself. ***When he began his affair with you he was married and in his eyes, seeing as you still gave into his advances emotionally and sexually, his marriage didn't matter. He figures, if it didn't matter then, it shouldn't matter now.*** Still, he will continue to tell you EXACTLY what you need to hear in order for his advances to continually be given into.

You want to persuade your mind that it’s love and that this man is genuinely speaking truth to you. Maybe he does love you but if he loved you more than his wife why is SHE still his WIFE? Men will give you every excuse in the book when it comes to reasons why they cannot leave their wife:

1 .     The kids

2 .     The finances

3 .     The timing is off

4 .     He claims to be so confused

The real reason why he is not leaving his wife is CONVENIENCE.

You have allowed him to love on you while he is still married. He realizes that he can have his cake and eat it too. You give him your love, then he goes home and gets more affection from his wife and his family. When he is tired of playing family man, he plays the single, fun, sexual man with you. He is living a double life making his fantasies come true and all the while as you constantly ask him to leave his wife and as he constantly gives you all of the excuses of why he “cannot leave his wife RIGHT NOW”, he knows that 15 minutes later he will be getting love from you whether you get the answer you want or not.

HE IS DOING TO YOU, WHAT YOU HAVE ALLOWED HIM TO DO FROM THE BEGINNING.

He has manipulated your feelings and made you believe something that is probably never going to happen. Where does he spend his holidays? Who does he go to bed with every night? Who does he wake up to every morning? He makes love to you. But he is also STILL making love to his wife even though I am sure he tells you he is not…trust me, HE IS.

 ***The fact that you know he is married but his wife has no idea that you even exist should be the RED LIGHT. He obvioulsy cares more about protecting her feelings than yours!

You are a character of his fantasy life outside of playing family man. You cannot cry, weep and feel sorry for yourself about this unfortunate situation you are in. You knew from the beginning that this man was married but you took the chance anyways expecting your connection with him to build a relationship and crumble his current marriage.

**When men are in affairs, they are not looking for another wife. They are not looking to start another family. They are not looking to have any serious commitment with “the other woman”.  They are looking for a quick fix to relieve them from their reality.

Look within yourself and ask honestly, personally and sincerely, do you really think this man is going to leave behind everything he has built with his wife for a woman who has allowed him to belittle her worth. Yes, that is what he has done. He has belittled your worth by deeming you “the other woman”. You are his second best. Is that good enough for you? Second best is not good enough for any woman. So I’m asking YOU, Will he ever leave his wife?

The Written Words of AJT