Is The 90 Day Rule Effective Or Myth?

A few weekends back I watched “Think Like A Man” (the movie derived from Steve Harvey’s book “Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man”). This movie had comicality, adoration, and intriguingly handy tips for women on getting exactly what they wanted from their men. The one “rule” that stood out to me was the “90 Day rule”.

This rule, constituted as a winner by Steve Harvey, insists that a woman should wait 90 days before she sleeps with her man because by then she should know his intentions, what kind of man he is, short term vs. long terms goals, and his perspective of their relationship and where it is going. Where do I stand on the matter? Well I used to believe the 90-day rule was astounding until I was introduced to its backfiring ways.

Newsflash ladies, men can tell when you are holding out and if sex is his main intention he will be everything you need and more for those 90 days, but once you give into a sexual relationship with him be ready to be introduced to who he is REALLY is. This is the BACKFIRING effect. Does it always occur this way? No. Does it occur this way often? Yes.

Here is my take on it: we all know sex changes everything. There is a sort of possession that comes into a relationship when sex gets involved. It ties a strong knot on the relationship. Now that the union has been brought into the bedroom, standards change and expectations become more robust and realer than ever.

So my tip: Don’t EVER tell a man you are holding out for 90 days. He will count! Simply say, “I don’t get physically involved until I know who I am dating.” That is not saying that you are surely going to find this man interesting enough to have sex with nor is it saying that sex is totally out of the question. You keep him guessing. He has no idea what he is going to get or when he may or may not get it.

Even better, if you can skip telling him that you are holding off on a physical relationship until you know him, do it! An easy way to skip relaying your sexual plans to someone you are dating is by never putting you two in compromising sexual situations. This means:

1. No nightcaps.

2. Don’t look too sexy. A man knows when you are saying, “come get my cookies”.

3. Do not take your dates to the home. Make sure your dates are out in the open but quiet enough to where you can talk, be understood, and listen.

4. Do no get into an overheated make out session. Remember kissing leads to the bed if it’s too hot. Give him a couple taps on the lips. Skip the tongue until you are sure you want a sexual relationship with him. The worse thing you can do is lead a man on.

So yes Steve Harvey I am challenging your 90-Day Rule! What you think ladies?

The Written Words of AJT