"Going The Distance"

We are drawn to believe that long distance relationships have a low survival rate. We are drawn to believe that trust becomes damaged, faithfulness is impossible and a steady communication is unfeasible when hearts are a part. I find these to all be myths based off the failures of long distance relationships where people were too immature to handle their circumstances.

A relationship has to be mature in order to succeed distance. Both individuals need to understand the trials that they are soon to face and they must be sure that the relationship is strong enough to withstand the separation.

The main issue that couples come to face when dealing with distance is trust. The solution to this is to know the level of trust before agreeing to be in a long distance relationship. Going the distance while both individuals feel the lack of trust makes the relationship a pointless waste of time. There is no feeling worse than having a thought behind your mind everyday of what your partner is doing, who they are with, and if they are being trustworthy to you. Having these thoughts eventually reflect on your actions towards the relationship. If you feel you cannot trust your partner then you will find yourself making decisions of off “ well they are probably doing the same thing so why shouldn’t I go out for a few drinks with these women/men.” The lack of trust begins forming daily arguments and doubts towards each other and eventually the relationship comes to an end.

Many of us fall accustomed to believing that in order to love our partners unconditionally and in the form that they deserve then they need to be physically present. That is not true. If the love is as pure and real as a couple claims it to be then distance will not deter that love nor will it take away from the affection.

There are ways to be romantic when you find that you and your partner are going through a long distance relationship. Ordering your sweetheart flowers, sending them cards and letters. It seems we have gotten so accustomed to the privilege of technology that we forget these gestures that bring hearts closer. Taking a pen and paper and writing a passionate love letter to the one you love keeps the flame going and allows your partner to know that the love is not withering but that it is growing fonder over time.

When you fall in love with someone and you begin sharing a passion with them you find that your hearts become one. You are more dependent on one another and your love. Distance is the number one test of relationships. You are put in the position to go days, weeks, months, some couples go years without seeing each other. It’s a test to show how real your love is. I can understand the difficulties when you cannot touch, hug, kiss, or hold that one who you have given your heart to. But does this mean that you find that affection in the arms of another? How true is your love if you can give it to someone else so willingly after you “claim” to have given your heart to your partner?

Distance does have positives. Yes I said DISTANCE DOES HAVE POSITIVES! This gives you a great opportunity to communicate more with your partner and get to know each other on a more personal level rather than depending on intimacy and physical affection. It pulls hearts closer together to fall in love with the mind and soul rather than one’s physicality.

It takes two. If two individuals really want to be together then nothing or no one will be able to hinder that love. Distance does not last forever. Being untrustworthy because you feel the distance is too much and your need for affection is too high causes you to make immature choices towards a temporary situation. Keep your mind on the future and what you and your love want to accomplish after the distance. Figure out how much this love means to you and if it is worth it. Many times we think the grass is greener on the other side. We try to find excuses not to go the distance and to settle for someone who is around. We forget why we fell in love with the person in the first place. Do not allow a mediocre situation, like distance, to come between the destiny of you and the person you love. If you cannot wither storms together then the relationship is not as strong and it comes time to question your affection towards them. Love endures and has no limitations. No matter what the situation it gets through. So when a long distance relationship fails we must blame the parties involved because when dealing with affections of love all endings depend on the choices of those two hearts.

The Written Words of AJT