" The Older The Berry The Sweeter The Love? "

Why does the common belief stand that dating older means dating better? Will dating older take away the likeliness of those basic relationship issues (cheating, trust, respect, tolerance) How can it be true that a 40 year old would be less likely to hurt you or cause you pain because they are “more mature” and understanding than a 22 year old is? The level of maturity does not depend on age, it depends on when the want of growth kicks in for that individual and for some it can take a very long time! Never put age above character on your scale of standards because you surely will be fooling yourself. They say wisdom comes with age but maturity can very much so lack at any given stage of life.

I know everyone has that one individual in their family who tries to relive their young days and still acts like they are the players of all pimps! You may still have that uncle who tries to hit on all your friends or that promiscuous aunt who loves smacking your boys’ behinds! So the believe is that if we took our perverted uncle and promiscuous aunt and matched them up with 24 year olds the maturity of the relationship would be greater even if we take into consider their actions? No! Age does not matter. There are 50 year olds still playing the field so do not be fooled by the decades they have been living on earth!

Ladies you are good for believing that older men are the way to go. News flash -- some men take advantage of your youth and in most situations they succeed at doing just that. You believe everything the man is telling you because he is older, has a good income coming in, takes care of you financially, picks you up In a nice car and we become blinded. That old age and older masculinity leads us to believing that he is not about games because he is older and more experienced. Thinking this can get us caught up and the worse thing about it is when an older man is cheating we never call them out on it as we would with a man who is our age or younger. The fear of leaving all the riches and the so called “luxury” of walking around with an older looking man traps our minds into believing that we are leaving something too good. Not at all! And it is possible that a younger individual who is your age can help you grow just as much as the older man does. It depends how you pick them and how firm you are in laying your expectations. You are more likely to be fooled by an older person than a young one because when we date older individuals we automatically believe “he/she will not hurt me because their age exceeds those actions” and that alone sets you up for failure because what you do not want to believe you will never allow yourself to see.

On the contrary, there are some older individuals who are past the immature stages and are actually looking to settle down. When we choose to partake in a relationship of this sort we have to be sure that we are ready to let go of all childish tendencies. Being in your twenties dating individuals in their forties has its ups but it also has its downs. The relationship can cause us to grow up too fast and experience different activities that we would not experience with someone our own age. The individual you are dating who is older than you will expect more maturity from you and at times being so young you may not be able to provide that without guidance and help from your partner. Its not easy being with someone who you fill is constantly teaching you rather than loving you.

Being with someone your own age can allow more growth because, in a sense, you two are growing together therefore the lessons are constantly being shared among both of you. I understand that sometimes when we date men/women our age or younger there are immature tendencies that we wish we did not have to deal with however, what makes us believe that someone 40 or older will not have immature tendencies? Do men/women of older age not cheat, lie, and show untrustworthy characteristics? As humans we are prone to faulty choices and habits. That is not based off age it is based off being a human being.

Fooling ourselves into believing “if I date this older individual my relationship is sure to last” is a bold statement to have faith in. A successful relationship comes from picking an individual who wants the same results as you. That trait does not come with age but it comes with that person’s characteristics and wants. I myself have met very mature men and women at the age of 19 who’s aspirations and standards of dating exceed those of a 48 year old man/ woman! Mentality is more vital than the longevity of life. The success of love ignores age and feasts off maturity, knowledge, expectations and wants from a person of ANY age.

Written words of AJT