" Who's Bringing Home The Bacon?"

The typical, cliché belief of society remains "Woman should be at home while the man brings home the bacon!" However, as the job force increases, women are filling significantly high positions and their salaries are increasingly higher than the men of the home. Is this a bad thing? Does it take away from the masculinity of man when he is not the head provider of the home? Should it even matter?

I am not leaning towards "a man should make more money than a woman" nor am I leaning towards "it does not matter; a woman has just as much right to make more money than a man." What I am leaning towards is that in a relationship it should not matter. If the two of you are building a future together then it should not matter where the financial stability is deriving from. At the end of the day it is going towards the foundation of a stable life being built by BOTH of you. There should be no competition or envy in love. Men- if your woman is making more money than you it should not make you feel insecure as a man, nor should it make you feel as if you have to do better than her. Appreciate her and what she is doing and pull your own weight in other areas. If she is working late why not have dinner waiting for HER when she gets home? There is no rule book of the "dos and don'ts " of being a man and a woman. A woman does not have to be the one slaving over a kitchen. Both parties should be able to play both roles. This keeps a healthy, steady balance between work and home. No matter what the circumstance or who is working late you should both be taking care of each other. Ladies- If your man is working late you should not be thinking "well I worked hard today too so I am just going to go to bed." You need to take care of your man just as he takes care of you.

Nowadays, jobs are hard to come by and you may be in a situation where you are the only one working. Financially supporting two people can be a struggle and is known to build a lot of tension in the relationship. However, not being able to find a job does not make you less of a man or less of a woman. There are others ways to make up for not being able to contribute financially. While your love is at work clean the house and make sure your home affairs are in order. Do the household errands. If your sweetheart has clothes that need to be cleaned, wash them and do the dry-cleaning. When your loved one comes home have dinner ready, have their newspaper ready, run their shower, have their clothes out for work in the morning ironed and pressed. Doing things like these becomes A JOB. And your significant other will recognize all that you do and appreciate you for that. Whether your sweetheart cannot find a job or whether you cannot find a job you have to make sure you are both supporting one another. In any relationship there will be hard times and struggles but it is important that those hard times teach both parties to be strong together and to support each other no matter how bad it may be.

So many couples today worry about who is going to be the bread winner and who is going to be the success story of the relationship, when in reality, the success story should be the relationship. Financial stability is not only a part of your life or their life but it becomes part of the relationship. Too many of us are being competitive with our partners when we need to be helping in any way we can. Getting a check is not the only way to be useful in a relationship. Not having a job does not make you a liability.

The roles of a man and women have evolved over the decades. Society has given us the means, women and men, to excel in the same positions. Therefore, we must clear our minds of jealousy towards our significant others and lean more towards supporting them and becoming a team, whether they are bread winners or home doers. It is okay for a woman to make more money; it is okay for a man to be at home in the kitchen and vice verse. If your love is based on the "ideal" role of a man and the "ideal" role of a woman then there will never be progression in the success of the relationship because where there is love, envy and competition does not exist. Where there is love two individuals are not comparing digits in their checks, and where there is love support is imperative no matter who is taking home the bacon, each party pulls their weight for the better of the relationship.

The Written Words of AJT