"Whats It Mean To Be Dangerously In Love?"

What constitutes as being dangerously in love? Is it doing more for someone than you would do for yourself? Is it loving someone more than you love yourself? Is it putting someone else’s happiness in front of your own? These are all acts committed when a person falls in love. Deny it if you want but lets take a second to think about it. When you are in love and I mean REALLY in love, pretty much everything you do are in hopes that it makes the person you are in love with, happy. Whether that means buying a new outfit, getting to the gym, eating healthier, making them their favorite meal, ditching your friends on a Saturday night, and finally something that we are all guilty of: picturing our future with kids, a dog and a white picket fence. These are just the acts and changes that occur when we fall in love. So when does it become dangerous? Simple: When we are in love with someone who obviously is not in love with us, yet we still give give give but receive NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING.

Dangerous love usually kicks in when we find that we are giving more love than what we are receiving. Some can call it settling but its not exactly settling. The person can be amazing! They can have a great job, great salary, good family, amazing friends and they can be the most attractive individual in town but what makes it dangerous is the fact that we pour our hearts and soul into trying to keep this person happy and pleased beyond measure when the cold fact is they damn sure would not do the same for us.

With danger comes some sort of horrible consequence to the act. So what is the consequence when we love dangerously? Its more like what is NOT the consequence because so many tragic things can happen. First and foremost we put up a front. We tell ourselves that this person actually cares. Then we put up an even bigger front by making examples in our minds like “He/she has to care about me otherwise why would they be sleeping with me and why would they even be in this relationship?” hmmm ill answer that: They love what you can do for them; they love that you give them some on the daily basis or basically whenever they want it, they love that there are no expectations because no matter what they say to you, you eat it up and believe it so quickly that no explanations from them are necessary. All they have to say is “I love you” and you go running to the kitchen to make them a meal or hop on top to give them good sex. They win so easily by just whispering sweet nothings in your ear. Problem is:

YOU CANNOT FIGHT THE “SUBCONSCIOUS COMMON SENSE”

The subconscious common sense beats your excuses for staying with this individual. Most of the time it hits you after you have slept with them and you are starring at the ceiling thinking “why am I still here” (yes I know you have that thought). That is our subconscious common sense. It beats the heck out of all the lies you tell yourself, lying to your friends, and believing the crap that comes out of the individual’s mouth. You have fallen so madly in love that even though your mind knows its best to leave, your body will not let you. You are trapped in dangerous love! You actually think that if you get out of that bed and walk out for good you are going to be missing out on something. But seriously what can you possibly be missing out on? You have given the individual all of your love, you have done so much for them and the gestures never bring you happiness but you do it because it keeps them around. Is that what it is? Do we put up with just about anything to stray away from loneliness? Will we go through the craziest measures just to have someone in bed with us? To have someone to call our own? But after a while doesn’t it become tiring and redundant?

If you are putting in all your energy to keep someone happy but the acts of making them happy gives you no satisfaction then something is seriously wrong with the picture. When true love is in the presence of two individuals, partaking in selfless actions for each other gives both parties happiness and gratification. It does not make them tiresome, lonely, depressed and sad. After they make love they are happy, energetic, relieved and all they want to do is be held by one another and bask in the love that they BOTH share for each other. But when the equality of love lacks, you will not receive the happiness of the nice gestures. You are more like a maid. You do all the cleaning, the chores and you keep the household in shape but really you are not noticed at all. Just a fly on the wall. And no one wants to feel indivisible to someone they love.

So I know I usually end with a great conclusion towards one of love’s great mysteries but this time I can’t. The only way to remove yourself from dangerous love is to get tired of it. Once a person gets tired of giving and receiving nothing but a good hump in bed they will never revisit that empty place again. So until you get tired of living dangerously in love all this blog does for you is open your eyes to the situation you are drowning so willingly in. Yes I said willingly. Because when you know what you need to do in order to help yourself and get out of a pointless relationship but you choose not to: you are willingly involved in B.S! So tell me, are you tired yet?

The Written Words of AJT