Why is “independent
woman” often associated with women who withhold 6 figure salaries? Does that
make a housewife less independent than that career woman? I bring this up
because I recently came in contact with a woman who holds a very high paying
job, has children however no man. (I am not getting stereotypical here either,
so just stay with me on this one) She told me that her children are constantly
at her throat for her lack of being home, dating or going to school meetings.
She says, “I feel like I am being punished for being a successful independent
woman. I don’t need nor want a man. My salary is proof enough.” Now where did
this come from? Before tackling the fact that her children feel neglected she
automatically bursts into the “I don’t need a man” speech that we so often hear
from women who have either been hurt or have their heads so high in their
corporate job that they deny the want of masculinity between their sheets. Why
have so many women become brainwashed into believing that if they do not hold
jobs of high statute, no mater how much neglect it causes their children and
their happiness, they are inferior in society and personal security. It is as
if their annual salary determines their worth.
Just as I
know many women who claim to be “independent corporate, independent doctors,
independent lawyers who DON’T NEED A MAN” I also know women who tend to their
household fulltime and have a side job that may not bring in a lot of money BUT
brings happiness to every aspect of their life. It enables them to fulfill
their personal needs and still have time to be available to the ones they love.
This is not me shooting down you ambitious, beautiful women out there who have
high corporate, doctoral dreams - it is just me saying – Ladies, stop thinking
you have to uphold these high career jobs that you hate to feel some kind of
worth! If it’s what makes you happy DO IT…but if it stresses you to the point
where you can’t even give attention to those who love you…LEAVE IT!
This
woman later told me that she loves doing hair and always wanted to open up a
shop but she refused to do so because the money was not there and the title of
“hairdresser” didn’t dazzle a soul. Really? It makes me wonder how many women
put themselves in these competitive categories. Chasing money will not make you
rich! Working for someone will not make you rich. If she had opened up her own
hair business, she would be working on her own terms and NO ONE would be
signing her check. Of course it would take a while for the business to reach its
peak but all great things take time to flourish.
The
stress in women are caused by one of three things:
1.
They
are unhappy in their jobs
2.
They
are unhappy in their relationships (husband, kids, family etc.)
3.
They
are unhappy with themselves
This
unhappiness is caused when women settle for what is “right” in the eyes of
society compared to what truly makes them happy.
Over the
years women have had society to blame for why they feel the need to be
independent. If a woman does not provide on her own, tend to her children, and
uphold a stable life without the assistance of a man she is looked upon as
weak. As much as I disagree with this claim it is the world we live in.
Personally, I feel women who stay at home and tend to the house, children and
husband are no less capable than a woman with a 6-figure salary. Problem is,
women are brainwashed into believing that the title “house wife” holds no
success. They find it to be a title that shows the inferiority of a woman. This
is not true. It takes a lot to raise a child, tend to the home and keep a working
husband fully satisfied. Just because two people are traveling different paths
does not mean their life’s achievements will be any less. They may achieve
differently but they are both still successful in their own way.
I meet so
many independent women who feel they had to get that corporate job, they had to
become a doctor, and they had to become a lawyer because the power makes them
“more of a woman”. However ask a man who comes home from a long day of work to
a clean house, happy children, a satisfied wife and a hot meal what makes a
woman? Catch my drift? There is no standard of what makes you an independent
woman. Your happiness will forever affect your life. So when will you change
it? When will you start doing something on your own terms? You are a beautiful
woman who deserves to be happy, doing what brings joy to your life. Stress and
depression is killing so many women because they are afraid of change. It doesn’t
matter how old you are. The ability to change your life does not have an age
limit. Be you sweetheart!
The
written words of AJT
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