As women we
can be very naïve when it comes to having male friends. We disregard any
possibility that our male friends want more than friendship. We make up excuses
for their over the top comments and compliments and we try our hardest to
reassure our boyfriends/husbands that our male friend is no threat. Some of us even get a kick
out of it when our man warns us constantly of our male friend’s intentions. We
think our man is simply being jealous. Newsflash - it may be a hint of jealousy
in your man’s remarks regarding your male friend but believe me most of it is
coming from experience. No one knows a man like another man! If your man is
telling you you are being a bit naive…BELIEVE HIM!
The reason
so many women find themselves in compromising situations with men who are “just
friends” is because women love the attention. It makes them feel like someone
other than their man is taking notice of them. They neglect the fact
that a single “crossing the boundary” compliment can lead to far more than a
smile and flirtatious grin. As soon as your male friend notices your flattery towards his advancements, he will not stop there. He will plant false
thoughts into your mind by saying, “your man doesn’t deserve you,” “you can do so
much better than the dude you are with” or the biggest comment of all that
unfortunately so many women fall for, “if you were single you don’t know what I’d
do for you.” Quit flattering yourself ladies! As you smile, grin and
continue the flirtatious acts with this man he automatically knows he has you
right where he wants you.
Do not get
me wrong; NOT ALL MEN WHO GIVE YOU COMPLIMENTS WANT YOU. Some men will give you
a compliment without wanting anything from you. But again, this goes right back
to naivety. We know, as women, when a man is hinting that he wants more than
friendship the problem is our egos take over, our heads get big and we trick
ourselves into believing we are “doing nothing wrong”.
If you are
allowing the man’s advancements and flirtatious comments then you are just as
much at fault as he is. You need to put a stop to it at the first offense! And
when I say put a stop to it, that does not mean ask your male friend to quit
flirting with you and go back to being his “cool chick friend”. No! It means he
is not a friend and he has different plans for your relationship. Therefore
that friendship needs to be cut short and quickly!
Never open
the door of possibility by venting to a man who wants you about every
little thing that your boyfriend/husband is doing wrong. Not only
are you condemning your man but even worse, you are condemning him to a man who
wants to get in your pants! You are
opening the door and screaming “I’m not happy, come rescue me!"
Work it out
with YOUR MAN. Talk to YOUR MAN. Fix it with YOUR MAN. Never talk to another
male about the faults of your
relationship. Too often we over exaggerate of course and make the best man look like the worse man. Well enough is enough! You should
never give another man a reason to believe he can creep in the middle of your
relationship.
So
remember, lets lean more towards common sense than naivety and understand the difference
between a compliment and advancement. Nip it in the bud. You do not need a
friend who will compromise your relationship. And even if you know it
can never go that far you still should not be friends with a man who wants more
than friendship. Be 100% loyal to your man in every way!
The Written
Words of AJT
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