Getting Yourself Together Part 2 - Quit Playing Victim!

STOP!!!

Before you begin reading tonight’s blog article I will need many of you to put on your thick skin. I am going to be blatantly honest and it may come off a bit harsh however it is vital that I get this message across: 

Here’s the deal, we have all been through rough times. We have all had our share of circumstance whether it was with relationships or life itself. We have all faltered in some way and we have all endured pain. Some have the ability to move ahead and use the circumstance to drive them forward however I am beginning to see an expanded number of individuals who do the total opposite. Instead of moving forward, they mentally stay trapped within their circumstance and instead of finding purpose in it, they dwell and categorize themselves as VICTIMS.

When it comes to love the majority of us are scared. Why? Because “we have been hurt before”. We make it our duty to tell the next “possibility” that we are hesitant in moving forward with them because “we have been hurt before” and we do not want to re write the same story.

***If someone you are interested in says to you, “I’ve been hurt so many times, I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do this again” RUN AWAY! They are not ready to be loved. They are playing victim and in doing so showing they lack personal esteem and hope within themselves. Instead of learning from their past circumstance they are choosing to oppress themselves and use it as an emotional crutch. It is close to impossible to love someone who wants to play victim. Anyone who is blaming the past for why they cannot move forward lacks personal security and become a liability to your emotions. So if you are the victim I speak of please read carefully ahead.

When you play victim you sell yourself short in so many ways. You have “unable to love” written on your forehead. Victims seek out two things: attention and sympathy. Well I do apologize because you will not get any sympathy from me tonight. You know why that person hurt you in the past? Do you know why your relationship did not work out? It is because at that time, just like now, you did not believe in what you deserved. Right now, while the person who hurt you is living their life, you are dwelling on a wound that is trying to heal. Quit picking a scab and let it heal!

Do this for me - Think of all the things in the past that hurt you, got you down, deteriorated your self-esteem, and had you crying for change. Meditate on these memories and make a mental list of what you learned from every set back. Now I want you to ERASE those memories and leave it where it happened! All you take are the lessons learned. Those lessons are seeds of wisdom that you bring into your next relationship. You cannot take the people in your past, not the situations, not the feelings, not the memories, just a list of what you learned.

Playing a victim will hold you back. It will hold you back from today just like it held you back from yesterday. No man or woman wants to involve him or herself with an individual full of baggage and a lack of understanding towards life. You show a deficiency of understanding when you ask for the sympathy of others. You should be thankful for your experiences. They are the building blocks to your emotional strength and endurance.

Stop drowning in your tears, and quit feeling sorry for yourself. No one can run from the tribulations of life, and the same goes for love. You cannot run from the heartbreaks, the let downs and the disappointments. You have to trust and believe that it is getting you closer to something better. You have to believe it is mentally preparing you for the future and you have to believe it is emotionally strengthening you. It’s not there to hurt you, it's there to mold you. So right now I need you to throw away the memories, depend on that list and continue to take this walk with me. Wipe the label “VICTIM” off your forehead. We are love’s survivors. We all are. Getting closer and closer to personal innovation!

The Written Words of AJT