"As I Age and My Body Changes...Will His Love For Me Change As Well?"

When it comes to aging most women become self-conscious and insecure. This insecurity springs from physical change (pregnancy, aging etc.) & wanting to keep our tight physique from our 20s and 30s because it is what drew our men to us, defined us as women and molded our self confidence. Hmmm. I guess? The mental strains that are placed upon women as we age are unnecessary. Aging is unavoidable. Aging beautifully is not. However we must take into account that aging beautifully is not just about hitting the gym, eating right and using good creams…it is also about our emotional and mental states towards our self-image. When you know and feel as if you look amazing you will look amazing. Still, the most terrifying question that arises is if our men, who fell in love with our tight 20-year-old figures, will still remain attracted to our more curvaceous, maybe a little wrinkles a few stretch marks and a few pounds gained, physiques when we exceed our primes. Once we realize that external beauty fades it is only then that we can approach aging with security, confidence and appreciation.

Ladies, while you wonder if your man is going to love you after your physical changes come into play, he also wonders the same about you. Men age just as we do. Do you not think he has insecurities as well when it comes to adding an extra candle on his birthday cake? He may be wondering if you are still going to find him attractive after that 6 pack you loved so much fades out of sight. However, you may THINK he fell in love with your youthful limbs, gorgeous legs and tight physique but really that is not where love gains its longevity. Love is about keeping the flame after the “prettiness” fades. He may have first caught attraction due to some of your physical attributes but his love for you persevered because of who you are beyond physicality. Being pretty has no association with longevity because “prettiness” is temporary.

Pregnant women often find themselves as key victims of being fearful of the aftermath of their bodies. They wonder if their men will stray due to their physical changes. Well, not to my surprise, after speaking to some fathers and soon to be fathers, they assured me that when they found out their woman was pregnant it made her more beautiful to them. This one man in particular told me that he found his girlfriend’s stretch marks to be powerful and a sign of female strength. He said he loved her differently from that point on not just because she was going to be the mother of his child but also because the beauty she possessed after and during her child bearing was one he can only have sincere respect for.

Ladies, we are our own worse enemy!  We associate sexiness and prettiness with our physical features; our butts, our legs, our smiles and of course our hair. Lol. But we do not give men enough credit because they envision our physicality in such a different way. They know we will grow old. They know that after we conceive their children our bodies will never be the same. They understand that our bodies go through more changes than theirs and they understand the emotional insecurities that come along with those changes. ******BUT this is not speaking for ALL men because let us not be naïve; there are some men who have not gained an understanding that physical features fade and unfortunately those men may never experience true love. Do not allow their comments and shallow opinions deter your self esteem. A man in touch with reality who is aware of your true worth, that of course stretches beyond your physique, is the only man worth the opportunity of sharing this aging experience with you.

Please, stop being so hard on yourself. We cannot pause the years. We cannot get back our younger days. I personally believe that aging is beautiful within us women. Aging is what enhances our wisdom of life, men, relationships and personal worth. When you are in your 20s you are making mistakes, dating the wrong men (most of us), not being good to our bodies, and still wet behind the ears. When we are in our 30s we begin being serious about our health, we are learning our lessons,  and beginning our careers and families. Once we hit our 40s we are full of wisdom, experience, good times and bad. We can spot a good man from a distance and a bad one from even farther away. We know whom we are, where we have been and where we are still trying to go. This is our timeline. Why do we constantly approach aging as just a physical change…it is a life change. A beautiful life change. Prepare yourself mentally for life as it comes and in every aspect of the way, age beautifully.

The Written Words of AJT