As a woman, and speaking from my own preference, I would hate to sleep with someone whose requests during sex makes me miss out on receiving the pleasure. Asking me to call him “Daddy” and yelling, “What’s my name” is not appealing. If I didn’t know what his name was then I wouldn’t be sleeping with him in the first place LOL. And why would I want to call you “Daddy?” Who wants to think of their father while having sex? LOL Definitely asking for too much! Some women may find the above appealing and that is quite alright- to each is own =)
Still, there are certain phrases and “requests” that should not be spoken of during sex. It can throw the whole mood off and have a woman or man faking an orgasm just to hit the door!
You will be surprised to know that talking during sex can make it more arousing and the urge can be transformed into something vigorous and fulfilling. Problem is, many of us do not know what to say, and even worse - what not to say. There are certain “ways” to the talking. Screaming requests in your partner’s ear will not get you too far. So what does work? Maybe a gentle whisper in the ear like, “Hey baby do you like it” or “I want to do_____to you” (Seems a little peculiar when you read it in this blog but trust me as you add your sexy voice to it, it can be a real body pleaser.)
Many individuals pull away from talking during sex but in my opinion that is boring. Just think for a second and picture Silent Sex. We see sex scenes on TV but when we do, there is always slow, sensual music playing in the background to make us think that the lovemaking looks exotic. But what if we cut out the Luther in the background and the scene just shows two individuals mating without talking and an occasional “OOHHH AHH” here and there? Then what do we have? BORING SEX. The connection is taken to another level when we can talk gently and sexually to our partners during intercourse.
What is the perfect time to tell your partner your favorite position or sexual turn-ons? DURING SEX! There are stimulating ways of telling your partner what you want to do to them, and believe me while your in the heat of the moment that lovemaking will become more intense and gratifying. When you are making love and at that same moment telling your partner your “sexual intentions” they begin picturing it in their mind and their bodies begin to want more of you (especially in the passion that you just promised) Not only are they picturing it but you are as well. While communicating it to your partner you are also letting go of stress by giving into those thoughts of sexual desire and once you fulfill them you will be even more pleasured and satisfied!
In an article written in Cosmopolitan Magazine Dr. Ian Kerner author of Passionista explains, "Speaking or hearing erotically charged words stimulates dopamine transmission, which plays a huge role in sexual excitement. They can enhance the emotional and physical intensity of the experience."
So what turns women and men on in a verbal sense during sex? For many men, the words that turn them on the most during sex is to hear their woman moan sexually, “I’m Coming.” Ladies you wonder why? Well it makes the man proud to know that he is satisfying you and he is obviously doing a job well done. And of course most men come before women therefore when you have an orgasm, and you tell him that you are having an orgasm, it gives him the go ahead to come as well. See everyone is happy!
A tip for the men: Ladies love compliments during sex. Well who doesn’t? However, complimenting her on her body, the way she moves, and simply telling her “your ______ turns me on” or “ I love when you move your______” she will feel confident in herself and because of that she will become more submissive to your needs and hers. Add a little grabbing when you are complimenting her body so that she not only hears your compliments but also feels exactly what you are talking about. If you love her breasts, caress and tell her at the same time. Don’t believe me? Give it a shot =)
So let go of the boring sex you been having and try something new. Whisper those sweet nothings and sexual desires and positions into your lover’s ears while you are making love to them. Give them something to look forward to after the current position. Give them more of a reason to want you even more than before. And most importantly, enhance the connection you have between the sheets with the person you love. Don’t be afraid to put that sexy voice on for your love and talk through the penetration because for once TALK ISN’T CHEAP!
The Written words of AJT
Wednesday 28 September 2011
Sunday 25 September 2011
"Hitting Below The Belt Leads To An End in Your Love Story"
In any argument we have one main purpose towards our opponent – WIN WIN WIN! And in order to achieve this we dig as deep as we can into their personal emotions and say anything we can think of to bring them down. These actions I would not say are right but at the same time, they are formed from anger and many times we end up getting more hurtful than we intended because its being fueled by our outraged emotions.
In a relationship hitting below the belt is dangerous. It can cause major damage to your relationship and the way you perceive your partner. I understand that sometimes we get so angry and we cannot help what comes out of our mouths, especially during the worse situations like cheating, abuse, and neglect. When we find that our partner has been unfaithful it hurts and we want to do anything in our power to make them feel that same pain, so during the argument we find ourselves bringing in unnecessary stories, circumstances and people and we mold all of it into a hurtful insult.
Have you ever heard the quote “don’t make promises when you are happy and don’t make decisions when you are mad”? Well this is that exact scenario. When we are angry with our partners the best thing to do is to follow the words of your Kindergarten teacher when she taught us the number one solution towards conflict “WALK AWAY”. Okay many of you bold readers out there are looking like “What? Yeah right! I am going to play the game better because you cannot play the player and I want to win!” well if you are thinking like this I would have to say that you have a lot of growing to do when it comes to relationships. Winning the argument is not what it is all about, especially when you want to KEEP your relationship. The best thing to do before it gets too heated is to walk away. Give yourself and your partner some space and time to think it through. Come back and then sit down and talk like two grown adults about what angered you in the first place and what you both can do to fix it.
The mature way to handle it is to TALK calmly without taking LOW BLOWS and hits towards someone’s insecurities and faults. That means leave the insults out about how your partner sucks in bed and how you fake orgasms or for my men, telling your girl that she IS JUST LIKE HER MOTHER! Or for my ladies saying “I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO MY FRIENDS/MOM (MEN HATE THAT) lol. On a more serious note arguing is pointless when you plan on spending the rest of your life with an individual but if you are going to do it, be smart enough to NOT run them away by your hurtful words and blunt assumptions. Walking away and taking that space is imperative to the survival of your relationship. Now what I am about to say is very important!
NEVER EVER GO TO BED MAD!
This is not a solution. When we go to bed upset with our partners we drag that argument into the next day and that makes it even worse because nothing is getting accomplished or settled. You want to wake up new and refreshed without thinking of that horrible argument you and your love had the day before. Not to mention when we make up before we go to bed we have the opportunity to indulge in some AMAZING MAKE UP SEX! =) Believe me by the morning all will be forgiven =)
But on a more “pro-life” note- you never know what tomorrow may bring. You never know if the person lying next to you is going to wake up. The worse thing in the world is waking up and finding that your love is no longer there, or is injured and the last words you spoke were hurtful sentences brought on by a pity argument and anger. Life is too short to drag on a fight and hold grudges towards your love.
Before those words leave your lips think twice about its consequences and always remember that after every insult you dish out there is a different emotion that your partner receives. It can leave them embarrassed or emotionally scarred because “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
The written words of AJT
In a relationship hitting below the belt is dangerous. It can cause major damage to your relationship and the way you perceive your partner. I understand that sometimes we get so angry and we cannot help what comes out of our mouths, especially during the worse situations like cheating, abuse, and neglect. When we find that our partner has been unfaithful it hurts and we want to do anything in our power to make them feel that same pain, so during the argument we find ourselves bringing in unnecessary stories, circumstances and people and we mold all of it into a hurtful insult.
Have you ever heard the quote “don’t make promises when you are happy and don’t make decisions when you are mad”? Well this is that exact scenario. When we are angry with our partners the best thing to do is to follow the words of your Kindergarten teacher when she taught us the number one solution towards conflict “WALK AWAY”. Okay many of you bold readers out there are looking like “What? Yeah right! I am going to play the game better because you cannot play the player and I want to win!” well if you are thinking like this I would have to say that you have a lot of growing to do when it comes to relationships. Winning the argument is not what it is all about, especially when you want to KEEP your relationship. The best thing to do before it gets too heated is to walk away. Give yourself and your partner some space and time to think it through. Come back and then sit down and talk like two grown adults about what angered you in the first place and what you both can do to fix it.
The mature way to handle it is to TALK calmly without taking LOW BLOWS and hits towards someone’s insecurities and faults. That means leave the insults out about how your partner sucks in bed and how you fake orgasms or for my men, telling your girl that she IS JUST LIKE HER MOTHER! Or for my ladies saying “I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO MY FRIENDS/MOM (MEN HATE THAT) lol. On a more serious note arguing is pointless when you plan on spending the rest of your life with an individual but if you are going to do it, be smart enough to NOT run them away by your hurtful words and blunt assumptions. Walking away and taking that space is imperative to the survival of your relationship. Now what I am about to say is very important!
NEVER EVER GO TO BED MAD!
This is not a solution. When we go to bed upset with our partners we drag that argument into the next day and that makes it even worse because nothing is getting accomplished or settled. You want to wake up new and refreshed without thinking of that horrible argument you and your love had the day before. Not to mention when we make up before we go to bed we have the opportunity to indulge in some AMAZING MAKE UP SEX! =) Believe me by the morning all will be forgiven =)
But on a more “pro-life” note- you never know what tomorrow may bring. You never know if the person lying next to you is going to wake up. The worse thing in the world is waking up and finding that your love is no longer there, or is injured and the last words you spoke were hurtful sentences brought on by a pity argument and anger. Life is too short to drag on a fight and hold grudges towards your love.
Before those words leave your lips think twice about its consequences and always remember that after every insult you dish out there is a different emotion that your partner receives. It can leave them embarrassed or emotionally scarred because “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
The written words of AJT
Wednesday 21 September 2011
"We're All The Same Color When We Turn Off The Lights. Bi-Racial Love? Why Not?"
“If you can’t use her comb, don’t bring her home!” I am sure that all of my MARTIN fans are familiar with this famous phrase from jobless Tommy! But lets keep it real, a lot of us were raised in households of one race and therefore we were conditioned to believe that we could not introduce another race into our homes and welcome them as our lovers. Many Black women feel as if they cannot bring a White man home to meet Mom and Dad. Many Black men find it difficult to tell their mothers that they are bringing home a White woman and vice versa (White women may find it difficult to bring home a Black man and a White man may find it difficult to bring home a Black woman) Unethical? Yes, to some but there are many explanations for it; culture differences, tradition quarrels and everyday life. Whites, Blacks, Hispanics, Asians etc. have different traditions and cultural upbringings. Being in a Bi-Racial relationship does not just include loving someone but it’s also accepting where they come from as well as their family’s traditions and beliefs.
I remember watching a movie with Sanaa Lathan called “Something New” and it basically confronted the unexpected love she had found with a White man. While her and this man were getting intimate he asked her what her hair was. Now we are all familiar that both White women and Black women wear hair extensions however he was oblivious to what was underneath the ‘sew in’ and how it was done in the first place. Sanaa Lathan’s character became furious and asked him to leave after he asks, “can you take it off.” Should she have been so offensive? Can we expect a White man to know about hair extensions and lace wigs? Can we expect ANY man to know about our hair grooming secrets? I am sure that many men still believe that their woman’s hair is REAL! Lol The difference is Black men hardly ask. As long as it looks good they are pretty much satisfied. Black men are often raised around women who wear hair weaves, on the contrary White men are less exposed to the basics of lace wigs, braids and hair weaves. Lace wigs, braids and hair weaves are more familiarized in the category with Black women. Braids for one is a part of the African American culture and is more well known to Black tradition than it would be to White tradition. This is not me being stereotypical but I am merely explaining that the braiding process arose from our ancestors. This is just another example of how traditions collide and how in Bi-Racial relationships a sense of open-mindedness is crucial to its overall stability and survival.
A lot of women are about to get upset-- but I am picking on the ladies because this type of attitude rarely comes from a man in this given situation. -------I remember being in the grocery store with one of my girlfriends and she points out a Black man walking hand in hand around the grocery store with his White girlfriend. He was an attractive man and from the looks of it they seemed like a very happy couple. However, my friend found their relationship repulsive. She is not a racist however she could not come to grips that a handsome Black man like himself chooses to be with a White woman instead of a Black woman.
She replied “Really? Can he not a find a Black woman! I wonder what his momma thinks about his snow White!”
Her remarks stirred me into one day writing an article consulting the emotions that Black women get when they see Black men with another woman of a different race. How does it make it more “right” for him to be with a Black woman? When a Black man decides to date outside of his race it should not be seen as blatant disrespect to his mother or the other females of his family. This is an act of willed ignorance when we allow ourselves to come to those sorts of conclusions. Could it be a state of possessiveness? It seems that many women claim men that do not belong to them but since they are connected by race some women feel that if “as a Black woman that is my Black man” and “as a White woman that is my White man”.
Black women are not the only race of women who find it compulsive to see “their men” dating outside of their race. AND it is not ALL women however I find it to be related to more women than men in general. We have to grow within ourselves to put these emotions to rest. Our society now allows us to walk freely and love freely without laws prohibiting it and although some may not agree with the relationships formed from our freedom it is however moral to respect it. But do we? No, most do not. When we see bi-racial couples we stare at it as if it is a rarity. Love is rare not the skin color of the individuals involved.
The Written words of AJT
I remember watching a movie with Sanaa Lathan called “Something New” and it basically confronted the unexpected love she had found with a White man. While her and this man were getting intimate he asked her what her hair was. Now we are all familiar that both White women and Black women wear hair extensions however he was oblivious to what was underneath the ‘sew in’ and how it was done in the first place. Sanaa Lathan’s character became furious and asked him to leave after he asks, “can you take it off.” Should she have been so offensive? Can we expect a White man to know about hair extensions and lace wigs? Can we expect ANY man to know about our hair grooming secrets? I am sure that many men still believe that their woman’s hair is REAL! Lol The difference is Black men hardly ask. As long as it looks good they are pretty much satisfied. Black men are often raised around women who wear hair weaves, on the contrary White men are less exposed to the basics of lace wigs, braids and hair weaves. Lace wigs, braids and hair weaves are more familiarized in the category with Black women. Braids for one is a part of the African American culture and is more well known to Black tradition than it would be to White tradition. This is not me being stereotypical but I am merely explaining that the braiding process arose from our ancestors. This is just another example of how traditions collide and how in Bi-Racial relationships a sense of open-mindedness is crucial to its overall stability and survival.
A lot of women are about to get upset-- but I am picking on the ladies because this type of attitude rarely comes from a man in this given situation. -------I remember being in the grocery store with one of my girlfriends and she points out a Black man walking hand in hand around the grocery store with his White girlfriend. He was an attractive man and from the looks of it they seemed like a very happy couple. However, my friend found their relationship repulsive. She is not a racist however she could not come to grips that a handsome Black man like himself chooses to be with a White woman instead of a Black woman.
She replied “Really? Can he not a find a Black woman! I wonder what his momma thinks about his snow White!”
Her remarks stirred me into one day writing an article consulting the emotions that Black women get when they see Black men with another woman of a different race. How does it make it more “right” for him to be with a Black woman? When a Black man decides to date outside of his race it should not be seen as blatant disrespect to his mother or the other females of his family. This is an act of willed ignorance when we allow ourselves to come to those sorts of conclusions. Could it be a state of possessiveness? It seems that many women claim men that do not belong to them but since they are connected by race some women feel that if “as a Black woman that is my Black man” and “as a White woman that is my White man”.
Black women are not the only race of women who find it compulsive to see “their men” dating outside of their race. AND it is not ALL women however I find it to be related to more women than men in general. We have to grow within ourselves to put these emotions to rest. Our society now allows us to walk freely and love freely without laws prohibiting it and although some may not agree with the relationships formed from our freedom it is however moral to respect it. But do we? No, most do not. When we see bi-racial couples we stare at it as if it is a rarity. Love is rare not the skin color of the individuals involved.
The Written words of AJT
Sunday 18 September 2011
"Faking The Funk- Getting Married For All The Wrong Reasons"
Is it just me or does it seem as though many individuals will do anything to have the ‘ideal American family’? We will marry individuals who we do not love because we have children by them. We will stay in an unfit, unhealthy relationship with individuals because WE HAVE CHILDREN BY THEM. We will live an unhappy life on the inside so that the family portrait is full to “ideal” capacity (Mommy, Daddy, Kids). Why do so many individuals feel that when they have children its only ‘right and proper’ to marry?
In the days of our grandparents, great grandparents and even farther dated back than that, people would marry young and then have children- that was the order and you would hardly find single parenting in that day in age. However as time progressed we find that there are more single parents than marriages that are actually surviving. We can look at this as a deficit in society’s marital necessity or we can see it as our generation being more independent, especially women. Women no longer stay at home cooking, cleaning and tending to their families all day. The number of housewives in America over time has decreased tremendously. Women now have careers and financial means to handle their families without the attention and need of a male counterpart. However, the same goes for males. Men now know how to take over the kitchen, put on a clean diaper, help with the homework and make a PTA meeting. It goes both ways- both men and women are capable of fulfilling parental duties without having both a male and female figure in the household.
BUT the old days’ tradition of marrying when you have a child still exists and I am not the one to kill American tradition, but as time progresses some traditions should be laid to rest especially when it hinders individuals involved and does not build a family but instead breaks it down.
An individual who marries their children’s mother or father just because they have children together is not a good enough reason to marry. If we look at in a “traditional” sense we can say that the vows of marriage loses its relevance in situations like these. Marriage includes following sacred vows between two individuals who love each other and work as one to better that relationship overtime no matter what trials and shortcomings it may bring. However, individuals who marry ONLY FOR THE KIDS opt to have a mom and dad in the same household not only to lighten the burden so to speak but to not confuse the children and allow them to live a normal life and have a NORMAL household.
What we can fail to realize sometimes about our children is THEY ARE NOT STUPID. Kids know when parents are faking the funk! I remember being a young girl and although my parents would sometimes use subliminal messages at the dinner table, at the age of 8 I understood what was going on. I knew when Mommy was mad at Daddy so how can we be so naïve to believe that our children will not see the absence of love between their mom and dad whom are living in the same household? Children do not just want a FAMILY they want a loving, HAPPY family. And believe me they can sense when that love is non existent and that will hinder your child more than if you were honest and sat down with them and explained why Mom and Dad do not live together.
AND THE BIGGEST REASON WHY WE SHOULD NOT SET OURSELVES UP AND MARRY BABYDADDY AND BABYMOMMA IS------ Our happiness matters too. We welcome dissatisfaction by marrying someone who we do not love and living in the same household with them. I am not saying that two mature adults could not handle the situation, because I am sure they could, however it holds you back from meeting the one you can truly be happy with. Do not sell yourself short by IDEAL FAMILY PORTRAITS and do not think that you are OBLIGATED to do so. This is your life. So when will you stop faking the funk and lying to your children because in this situation it is nothing less and nothing more than a dishonest union that eventually is going to effect your family and hurt the trust between you and your children.
Weigh your pros and cons to faking the funk but believe me when it comes to your children the best thing you can give them besides that unconditional love is the TRUTH.
The written words of AJT.
In the days of our grandparents, great grandparents and even farther dated back than that, people would marry young and then have children- that was the order and you would hardly find single parenting in that day in age. However as time progressed we find that there are more single parents than marriages that are actually surviving. We can look at this as a deficit in society’s marital necessity or we can see it as our generation being more independent, especially women. Women no longer stay at home cooking, cleaning and tending to their families all day. The number of housewives in America over time has decreased tremendously. Women now have careers and financial means to handle their families without the attention and need of a male counterpart. However, the same goes for males. Men now know how to take over the kitchen, put on a clean diaper, help with the homework and make a PTA meeting. It goes both ways- both men and women are capable of fulfilling parental duties without having both a male and female figure in the household.
BUT the old days’ tradition of marrying when you have a child still exists and I am not the one to kill American tradition, but as time progresses some traditions should be laid to rest especially when it hinders individuals involved and does not build a family but instead breaks it down.
An individual who marries their children’s mother or father just because they have children together is not a good enough reason to marry. If we look at in a “traditional” sense we can say that the vows of marriage loses its relevance in situations like these. Marriage includes following sacred vows between two individuals who love each other and work as one to better that relationship overtime no matter what trials and shortcomings it may bring. However, individuals who marry ONLY FOR THE KIDS opt to have a mom and dad in the same household not only to lighten the burden so to speak but to not confuse the children and allow them to live a normal life and have a NORMAL household.
What we can fail to realize sometimes about our children is THEY ARE NOT STUPID. Kids know when parents are faking the funk! I remember being a young girl and although my parents would sometimes use subliminal messages at the dinner table, at the age of 8 I understood what was going on. I knew when Mommy was mad at Daddy so how can we be so naïve to believe that our children will not see the absence of love between their mom and dad whom are living in the same household? Children do not just want a FAMILY they want a loving, HAPPY family. And believe me they can sense when that love is non existent and that will hinder your child more than if you were honest and sat down with them and explained why Mom and Dad do not live together.
AND THE BIGGEST REASON WHY WE SHOULD NOT SET OURSELVES UP AND MARRY BABYDADDY AND BABYMOMMA IS------ Our happiness matters too. We welcome dissatisfaction by marrying someone who we do not love and living in the same household with them. I am not saying that two mature adults could not handle the situation, because I am sure they could, however it holds you back from meeting the one you can truly be happy with. Do not sell yourself short by IDEAL FAMILY PORTRAITS and do not think that you are OBLIGATED to do so. This is your life. So when will you stop faking the funk and lying to your children because in this situation it is nothing less and nothing more than a dishonest union that eventually is going to effect your family and hurt the trust between you and your children.
Weigh your pros and cons to faking the funk but believe me when it comes to your children the best thing you can give them besides that unconditional love is the TRUTH.
The written words of AJT.
Wednesday 14 September 2011
"A Lack Of Confidence Leads to A Lack Of Love Life"
Okay you “Negative Nancys” and “Doubtful Dans” this one is for you!
We have all come in contact with individuals who complain more about their life than they show their gratefulness. They constantly put themselves down and broadcast how miserable they are and how loneliness with 10 cats is the conclusion to the rest of their lives.
News flash for all you Dans and Nancys---------the more you place doubt into our minds, and the more you speak negativity over your life that is exactly what you will produce! You think a man or woman is going to want to be with you when you think so low of yourself? I personally would want to date someone confident in themselves. Someone who knows their professional capabilities are endless and someone who looks in the mirror and takes pride in what they see. Now that is attractive! When you know you have a lot to give no one can tell you any different. If you do not believe in yourself why should anyone else? If you are embarrassed at the way you look and walk around with your head hung to the concrete then why would someone treat you better while you treat yourself repulsively?
Beating yourself up is not attractive and it most definitely will turn people off! Complaining about what you do not have or what you do not look like is not going to impress anyone. Everyone wants an individual who finds sexiness, attractiveness, and purpose in their gifts as well as their faults.
You are your own worst enemy and vice versa – YOU ARE YOUR BIGGEST FAN
Finding excuses to why that woman or man will never approach you is only feeding your mind and body to follow suit to those thoughts. If you tell yourself “no he/she will never be attracted to someone like me” well guess what? You are exactly right. I will not fight with you. You know why? Because you know you better than anyone else so if you tell me that you are not good enough you better believe that I am going to have to agree. That cloud over your head is going to draw people away from you and it will eventually be the cause of the loneliness you want to avoid.
Confidence is so important when it comes to dating because believe it or not, when you have confidence in how you walk, how you speak, how you excel at your job and your achievements you make someone intimidated and you make them want you more. Now we can say intimidation is a bad thing but really it isn’t. A little intimidation is good. It’s good to let someone know that you are interested BUT, that if it does not work out; you are still going to be amazing. That attracts people believe It or not! It brings on the challenge. No one works hard for anything they know will come easy and its important to make that man/woman who wants you work hard for you. When you show them that you have confidence in yourself it draws them in.
Point is ---- no one wants to be with you when you have a horrible self esteem because people in relationships want to focus on loving one another not picking each other up when they should not have to.
We do this even when we are in relationships and it’s not healthy. Do not make your partner feel as if loving you is the most difficult task in the world. So many times we find ourselves comparing who we are to whom our partners have dated in the past. The past is irrelevant. What matters is that your partner found something in you more special to preserve than what they had in the past. What matters is the present, which is shaping the future of your love. Stop comparing your achievements, you body, your weight, your beauty to others because just by doing that you are reflecting a low self-esteem. An individual confident in himself or herself does not need to compare himself or herself to anyone because they are more than satisfied with the person they see when they look in the mirror. You are in a relationship with someone who loves you and when you belittle yourself with your actions and your words you not only make it difficult to be loved but you make them second guess if you are ready to be in the relationship. If you cannot see how amazing you are why should they?
If there is something about yourself that you are unhappy with then change it! You want to lose weight and be healthier then go to the gym! But stop stressing over things that you cannot change! For instance, women and their stretch marks: Ladies, this is natural and you cannot let it get you down. 96% of women have stretch marks! Believe me, MEN DO NOT CARE so stop stressing over something you cannot help. Men, stop stressing about your package! Women do love a nice size but we also understand that it’s more about how you use it than how it’s hanging! And if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who constantly reminds you of your physical shortcomings then you most definitely do not need to be with them in the first place. The only individuals who talk down to you are the ones who lack security in them. Do not hold yourself to individuals like his. Let their insecurity be their issue and do not allow yourself to drown in it!
We find ourselves getting so hung up over physical attributes that we forget that over time those physical attributes fade. What’s left after that? Confidence, self-assurance and the loving person that your partner fell in love with years ago.
I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE when I say it is so uncomfortable to be around someone who speaks such vulgarity about him or herself.
I can spot a confident individual from a mile away. Some call it “swag” but its far more intense than that.
Be that person who’s partner loves loving them. There is a such thing as being with someone who does not love loving you and it happens when you stop loving yourself. Quit beating yourself up over whom you are or who you aren’t. Learn to accept you for you because if you don’t start now then you will be welcoming those 10 cats later! LOL.
WHEN YOU LOVE WHO YOU ARE YOU ALLOW OTHERS TO LOVE YOU AS WELL!
The Written words of AJT
We have all come in contact with individuals who complain more about their life than they show their gratefulness. They constantly put themselves down and broadcast how miserable they are and how loneliness with 10 cats is the conclusion to the rest of their lives.
News flash for all you Dans and Nancys---------the more you place doubt into our minds, and the more you speak negativity over your life that is exactly what you will produce! You think a man or woman is going to want to be with you when you think so low of yourself? I personally would want to date someone confident in themselves. Someone who knows their professional capabilities are endless and someone who looks in the mirror and takes pride in what they see. Now that is attractive! When you know you have a lot to give no one can tell you any different. If you do not believe in yourself why should anyone else? If you are embarrassed at the way you look and walk around with your head hung to the concrete then why would someone treat you better while you treat yourself repulsively?
Beating yourself up is not attractive and it most definitely will turn people off! Complaining about what you do not have or what you do not look like is not going to impress anyone. Everyone wants an individual who finds sexiness, attractiveness, and purpose in their gifts as well as their faults.
You are your own worst enemy and vice versa – YOU ARE YOUR BIGGEST FAN
Finding excuses to why that woman or man will never approach you is only feeding your mind and body to follow suit to those thoughts. If you tell yourself “no he/she will never be attracted to someone like me” well guess what? You are exactly right. I will not fight with you. You know why? Because you know you better than anyone else so if you tell me that you are not good enough you better believe that I am going to have to agree. That cloud over your head is going to draw people away from you and it will eventually be the cause of the loneliness you want to avoid.
Confidence is so important when it comes to dating because believe it or not, when you have confidence in how you walk, how you speak, how you excel at your job and your achievements you make someone intimidated and you make them want you more. Now we can say intimidation is a bad thing but really it isn’t. A little intimidation is good. It’s good to let someone know that you are interested BUT, that if it does not work out; you are still going to be amazing. That attracts people believe It or not! It brings on the challenge. No one works hard for anything they know will come easy and its important to make that man/woman who wants you work hard for you. When you show them that you have confidence in yourself it draws them in.
Point is ---- no one wants to be with you when you have a horrible self esteem because people in relationships want to focus on loving one another not picking each other up when they should not have to.
We do this even when we are in relationships and it’s not healthy. Do not make your partner feel as if loving you is the most difficult task in the world. So many times we find ourselves comparing who we are to whom our partners have dated in the past. The past is irrelevant. What matters is that your partner found something in you more special to preserve than what they had in the past. What matters is the present, which is shaping the future of your love. Stop comparing your achievements, you body, your weight, your beauty to others because just by doing that you are reflecting a low self-esteem. An individual confident in himself or herself does not need to compare himself or herself to anyone because they are more than satisfied with the person they see when they look in the mirror. You are in a relationship with someone who loves you and when you belittle yourself with your actions and your words you not only make it difficult to be loved but you make them second guess if you are ready to be in the relationship. If you cannot see how amazing you are why should they?
If there is something about yourself that you are unhappy with then change it! You want to lose weight and be healthier then go to the gym! But stop stressing over things that you cannot change! For instance, women and their stretch marks: Ladies, this is natural and you cannot let it get you down. 96% of women have stretch marks! Believe me, MEN DO NOT CARE so stop stressing over something you cannot help. Men, stop stressing about your package! Women do love a nice size but we also understand that it’s more about how you use it than how it’s hanging! And if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who constantly reminds you of your physical shortcomings then you most definitely do not need to be with them in the first place. The only individuals who talk down to you are the ones who lack security in them. Do not hold yourself to individuals like his. Let their insecurity be their issue and do not allow yourself to drown in it!
We find ourselves getting so hung up over physical attributes that we forget that over time those physical attributes fade. What’s left after that? Confidence, self-assurance and the loving person that your partner fell in love with years ago.
I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE when I say it is so uncomfortable to be around someone who speaks such vulgarity about him or herself.
I can spot a confident individual from a mile away. Some call it “swag” but its far more intense than that.
Be that person who’s partner loves loving them. There is a such thing as being with someone who does not love loving you and it happens when you stop loving yourself. Quit beating yourself up over whom you are or who you aren’t. Learn to accept you for you because if you don’t start now then you will be welcoming those 10 cats later! LOL.
WHEN YOU LOVE WHO YOU ARE YOU ALLOW OTHERS TO LOVE YOU AS WELL!
The Written words of AJT
Sunday 11 September 2011
Dating women with kids? A NO GO for so many men. Men, tell me Why?
I hear it from men more than I hear it from women “their preference not to date women with kids” But why is this? In order to get a legitimate answer I asked a few of my male friends “Why is it that most men prefer women without kids”
One guy answered, “ I want my woman to have all the time in the world for me and kids takes away from that. Plus it’s more to take care of. What if I get serious with her? Then I will be taking care of her and her kids.”
Another guy answered, “ I have dated a woman with a child. However, my preference is for her to be without a child simply so her and I can start a family together. Another reason would be pertaining to the fact that women with children are hard to compromise with as far as having additional children.”
Another answered, “ I feel like I busted my ass so hard and for too long to date a woman with baggage like that, too many people involved.”
Now it may sound a bit rude and distasteful to some women but lets just think for a second. Can you blame a man for feeling this way? Most men want to settle with a woman who is at the same stage in her life as them – single, no kids, no ties, and no baggage. Now I am not suggesting that children are baggage because I disagree with that completely. However, it is something extra for the man to take on opposed to him taking care of his OWN kids.
But is this fair? And can this be the reason for the rise of single mothers? Just think, if more men give way to this mindset that will lead to more single mothers. The thoughts of men on this subject limits a single mom when it comes to dating because of what men think is a “circumstance”.
Unfortunately, some women understand that them having kids limits their chances of dating a man who will accept her and her children. However ladies, that does not mean you bring bitterness to your children. Now you can look at me with skeptical faces and innocent expressions, but there are many mothers out there who blame their children for their loneliness. I am not calling you bad mothers however there should never come a moment in your life where you put a man in front of your children. If the man you are with does not approve of the presence of your children then he does not need to be around! Your children are you. They are an image of you. There will never be a child like yours because you birthed them directly from your body. A man? A man comes and goes like the seasons. A man who loves you will never make you choose between him and your child. Instead, as much as he loves you, he will welcome your kids with that same love. Even if it does not work out, he will never disrespect your life as a single mother. YOUR KIDS COME FIRST. THERE ARE TOO MANY MEN IN THE WORLD!
But I have a question for the men: Can you find no positives in dating a woman with kids? Because I can. Her strong nurturing skills, and experience in caring for a family. I understand that most men believe that when a good woman with children is settled and content in raising her children on her own, she will not be open to having more kids. BUT this is not true for all women. Most women who have children want their children to have a male figure in their lives. Another lesson for the men- When a woman falls in love she gives a lot of herself and once that love exceeds past her heart, but more so to her soul, she wants nothing more than to please her man and give to him all she can provide. (I am speaking of my GOOD women) Because I will not lie, there are some selfish women out there who care only of the needs of themselves (DON’T HAVE THEIR BABIES!) LOL. But on a serious note, women with children do WANT a FULL family. It gets tiring and difficult playing both mommy and daddy. They want a father and a mother in the household and I do not feel that they will dismiss having kids when they find the man who they are in love with. Love gives and a woman in love with a good man gives more than you can ever imagine!
Ladies, do not feel bad if you have children and you have heard the remarks of the men who I interviewed because not all men feel this way. There are many men who have taken the responsibility of raising another man’s kids and they did this genuinely. It is not an easy job and its not one that is taken for granted but I personally have an immense amount of respect for these men. It is a pure example of love at its best. Men, when you fall in love with a woman that means you take into account her past, her shortcomings, her faults and her “circumstances”. You love her and eventually that love grows into something more and you begin to love her children just as they are your own.
I do understand preference when it comes to dating but how many of you have gave into those preferences? You claim you would never date a black woman, a white man, an individual with a low paying job etc. We all have preferences but you know what? You cannot choose whom you love and you cannot base loving someone off of what their past has brought to them. Preferences can hold you back from loving a good man/woman. Men: Having a preference to never date a woman with kids can hold you back from dating and loving a woman who is right for you. If you feel she can be the one then her child should not be seen as a circumstance. A woman bearing children is not a circumstance, it is a gift. I understand the arguments from both a woman and a male perspective however my deepest fear is that as preferences become more robust, specified and “picky” more individuals will miss out on real love and sadly the epidemic has already begun.
The Written Words of AJT
One guy answered, “ I want my woman to have all the time in the world for me and kids takes away from that. Plus it’s more to take care of. What if I get serious with her? Then I will be taking care of her and her kids.”
Another guy answered, “ I have dated a woman with a child. However, my preference is for her to be without a child simply so her and I can start a family together. Another reason would be pertaining to the fact that women with children are hard to compromise with as far as having additional children.”
Another answered, “ I feel like I busted my ass so hard and for too long to date a woman with baggage like that, too many people involved.”
Now it may sound a bit rude and distasteful to some women but lets just think for a second. Can you blame a man for feeling this way? Most men want to settle with a woman who is at the same stage in her life as them – single, no kids, no ties, and no baggage. Now I am not suggesting that children are baggage because I disagree with that completely. However, it is something extra for the man to take on opposed to him taking care of his OWN kids.
But is this fair? And can this be the reason for the rise of single mothers? Just think, if more men give way to this mindset that will lead to more single mothers. The thoughts of men on this subject limits a single mom when it comes to dating because of what men think is a “circumstance”.
Unfortunately, some women understand that them having kids limits their chances of dating a man who will accept her and her children. However ladies, that does not mean you bring bitterness to your children. Now you can look at me with skeptical faces and innocent expressions, but there are many mothers out there who blame their children for their loneliness. I am not calling you bad mothers however there should never come a moment in your life where you put a man in front of your children. If the man you are with does not approve of the presence of your children then he does not need to be around! Your children are you. They are an image of you. There will never be a child like yours because you birthed them directly from your body. A man? A man comes and goes like the seasons. A man who loves you will never make you choose between him and your child. Instead, as much as he loves you, he will welcome your kids with that same love. Even if it does not work out, he will never disrespect your life as a single mother. YOUR KIDS COME FIRST. THERE ARE TOO MANY MEN IN THE WORLD!
But I have a question for the men: Can you find no positives in dating a woman with kids? Because I can. Her strong nurturing skills, and experience in caring for a family. I understand that most men believe that when a good woman with children is settled and content in raising her children on her own, she will not be open to having more kids. BUT this is not true for all women. Most women who have children want their children to have a male figure in their lives. Another lesson for the men- When a woman falls in love she gives a lot of herself and once that love exceeds past her heart, but more so to her soul, she wants nothing more than to please her man and give to him all she can provide. (I am speaking of my GOOD women) Because I will not lie, there are some selfish women out there who care only of the needs of themselves (DON’T HAVE THEIR BABIES!) LOL. But on a serious note, women with children do WANT a FULL family. It gets tiring and difficult playing both mommy and daddy. They want a father and a mother in the household and I do not feel that they will dismiss having kids when they find the man who they are in love with. Love gives and a woman in love with a good man gives more than you can ever imagine!
Ladies, do not feel bad if you have children and you have heard the remarks of the men who I interviewed because not all men feel this way. There are many men who have taken the responsibility of raising another man’s kids and they did this genuinely. It is not an easy job and its not one that is taken for granted but I personally have an immense amount of respect for these men. It is a pure example of love at its best. Men, when you fall in love with a woman that means you take into account her past, her shortcomings, her faults and her “circumstances”. You love her and eventually that love grows into something more and you begin to love her children just as they are your own.
I do understand preference when it comes to dating but how many of you have gave into those preferences? You claim you would never date a black woman, a white man, an individual with a low paying job etc. We all have preferences but you know what? You cannot choose whom you love and you cannot base loving someone off of what their past has brought to them. Preferences can hold you back from loving a good man/woman. Men: Having a preference to never date a woman with kids can hold you back from dating and loving a woman who is right for you. If you feel she can be the one then her child should not be seen as a circumstance. A woman bearing children is not a circumstance, it is a gift. I understand the arguments from both a woman and a male perspective however my deepest fear is that as preferences become more robust, specified and “picky” more individuals will miss out on real love and sadly the epidemic has already begun.
The Written Words of AJT
Wednesday 7 September 2011
"The Power He Claims That She Doesn't Know Is Hers! "
“The power of the [vagina]” in URBANDICTIONARY.COM is described as “the power that beautiful women have! When you are under control of her power you are in a trance like state and the only source of comfort is her [vagina]. This power is activated after you have become one with her, and actually care very much about her. Its not just any [vagina] it HAS to be her, her persona, and everything else about her. The more you are attracted to the chick the stronger the pull to the warm, piece of Heaven between her legs. This force is inescapable! He might be tempted to buy her a ring, and forsake all other chicks, then the power has manifested itself.”
So why do men nowadays claim the power that women should so easily tap into? Let me brainstorm for a second here: Women are usually the ones craving for men EXCLUSIVELY. Men however, they do it behind closed doors. What do I mean by this? Well, women are more likely than men to let their emotions be known to the world. In doing this they allow their men to take advantage of their “known” emotions. Once a woman’s emotions are in a man’s possession the woman will become submissive without even knowing it. What happens next? He claims that woman’s power, especially between the sheets. Come on ladies when you are really into a man you cannot wait for your next encounter. Numbers show proof that women get their heartbroken on more occasions than men and that men hold the dominate stance in most committed, monogamous or dating relationships. However if we think for a second - who should really hold the power? I am sure we have all heard of the “power” women hold but they are so naive and quick to slip into the “I’m in love” trance that they do not claim that power. What power am I referring to? The power of the vagina! (Okay we are all grown here)
When we talk about this particular power what do we possibly mean? Simple- women can dominate men in their relationships if they tapped more into their feminine side and seduced a man from every angle- from her personality, her poise, her smarts and the ability to know how to use her “paradise”. One way to gain that dominance? Rationing the goods! Most women can go longer without sex than men. However, women kill the chance to own that power because they so willingly give it up and when they do the men claim that power. In the meantime the woman is too far-gone because ladies lets not play the fool we all know our HEARTS LIVE IN OUR VAGINAS. So when we do not protect it the right way or treat it with its crown of glory we allow our men to take authority of our emotions and soon they don’t have to ask - we willingly give.
An example that men know the power of a woman more than she does is something one guy said pertaining to the subject. He states, “I agree, [a woman’s vagina is more powerful than a man’s (private) ] in any conceivable scenario! Women either don’t understand the magnitude of their power or just give it away. Men are only more powerful and influential because women let us be.”
So ladies how do you lose your power? It’s not just in the sheets. It’s everything about you. It’s how you handle yourself outside of the bedroom. There’s no better phrase to use here except “lady in the streets, freak in the bed”. It’s about being conservative about your business and your relationship with your man. That means showing him that you are a woman in every aspect of the way. Grab his attention not only between the heavenly curves between your legs but capture his attention through your speech, your composure and your intellect. Make him feel that he not only wants you but that he needs you. All of these things make him want you more intimately and before you even give him some he is already hooked! Now once you release the power that your paradise holds he is caught in that trap and you have re gained your power!
Men know it and ladies should know it as well- no “paradise” is the same. Not all women are capable of producing good fruit on that “paradise”. What deducts the foundation of good fruit? The way you treat it- fruit should be handled well, kept fertilized so that the paradise lives up to its reputation. In other words, keep it clean, groomed and DON’T LET EVERYONE EXPERIENCE THE TRIP TO YOUR PARADISE. The more visitors you have the more those visitors will talk and no one wants to go where everyone else has been! The more visitors you allow the more the quality decreases. Point blank!
When you willingly allow multiple partners between your sheets other men will take notice and they will not see you as something precious but as something easy. Your paradise has lost its power and its up for auction now. Reclaim it!
I must say, I have to give it up to the men because right now they are winning! And it’s not by their own power but it’s by the women. Women are letting them win each time. Their actions, their insecurities, and failure to treat that paradise for what it is. If women can’t tap into their power then it gives all the room for a man to tap into it for them!
The Written Words Of AJT
So why do men nowadays claim the power that women should so easily tap into? Let me brainstorm for a second here: Women are usually the ones craving for men EXCLUSIVELY. Men however, they do it behind closed doors. What do I mean by this? Well, women are more likely than men to let their emotions be known to the world. In doing this they allow their men to take advantage of their “known” emotions. Once a woman’s emotions are in a man’s possession the woman will become submissive without even knowing it. What happens next? He claims that woman’s power, especially between the sheets. Come on ladies when you are really into a man you cannot wait for your next encounter. Numbers show proof that women get their heartbroken on more occasions than men and that men hold the dominate stance in most committed, monogamous or dating relationships. However if we think for a second - who should really hold the power? I am sure we have all heard of the “power” women hold but they are so naive and quick to slip into the “I’m in love” trance that they do not claim that power. What power am I referring to? The power of the vagina! (Okay we are all grown here)
When we talk about this particular power what do we possibly mean? Simple- women can dominate men in their relationships if they tapped more into their feminine side and seduced a man from every angle- from her personality, her poise, her smarts and the ability to know how to use her “paradise”. One way to gain that dominance? Rationing the goods! Most women can go longer without sex than men. However, women kill the chance to own that power because they so willingly give it up and when they do the men claim that power. In the meantime the woman is too far-gone because ladies lets not play the fool we all know our HEARTS LIVE IN OUR VAGINAS. So when we do not protect it the right way or treat it with its crown of glory we allow our men to take authority of our emotions and soon they don’t have to ask - we willingly give.
An example that men know the power of a woman more than she does is something one guy said pertaining to the subject. He states, “I agree, [a woman’s vagina is more powerful than a man’s (private) ] in any conceivable scenario! Women either don’t understand the magnitude of their power or just give it away. Men are only more powerful and influential because women let us be.”
So ladies how do you lose your power? It’s not just in the sheets. It’s everything about you. It’s how you handle yourself outside of the bedroom. There’s no better phrase to use here except “lady in the streets, freak in the bed”. It’s about being conservative about your business and your relationship with your man. That means showing him that you are a woman in every aspect of the way. Grab his attention not only between the heavenly curves between your legs but capture his attention through your speech, your composure and your intellect. Make him feel that he not only wants you but that he needs you. All of these things make him want you more intimately and before you even give him some he is already hooked! Now once you release the power that your paradise holds he is caught in that trap and you have re gained your power!
Men know it and ladies should know it as well- no “paradise” is the same. Not all women are capable of producing good fruit on that “paradise”. What deducts the foundation of good fruit? The way you treat it- fruit should be handled well, kept fertilized so that the paradise lives up to its reputation. In other words, keep it clean, groomed and DON’T LET EVERYONE EXPERIENCE THE TRIP TO YOUR PARADISE. The more visitors you have the more those visitors will talk and no one wants to go where everyone else has been! The more visitors you allow the more the quality decreases. Point blank!
When you willingly allow multiple partners between your sheets other men will take notice and they will not see you as something precious but as something easy. Your paradise has lost its power and its up for auction now. Reclaim it!
I must say, I have to give it up to the men because right now they are winning! And it’s not by their own power but it’s by the women. Women are letting them win each time. Their actions, their insecurities, and failure to treat that paradise for what it is. If women can’t tap into their power then it gives all the room for a man to tap into it for them!
The Written Words Of AJT
Sunday 4 September 2011
A Secret For The Men: Foreplay Is A Woman's Bestfriend!
Before I began writing this Sunday’s topic I had to ask women and men their opinions concerning this mature subject. First, I asked my ladies what is the most exciting, mind blowing, amazing, fulfilling part of love making for them. Out of the 21 women that I asked 17 answered: foreplay. While the other 4 answered: reaching their climax. That makes sense. However I would have to agree with the foreplay. It makes it electrifying and it makes the urge more compelling. Foreplay is what brings women to their state of climax. It is much easier for a man to reach that destination than it is for a woman. So why are men so surprised to find that their women have fewer orgasms than them when they are doing the do?! Women need more! We cannot just become aroused and stay aroused we need more! Much more! We need to be tampered with a little added with a smudge of affection, a tiny bit of touching, and a substantial amount of kissing on our skin. We want to stay active the entire time from start to finish. However, getting on top of us, behind us or however you choose to fulfill YOUR needs does not give us much satisfaction. So again...we WANT MORE.
FOREPLAY is a woman’s best friend. Now we cannot blame the men for not pleasing our requests of foreplay because most of us women do not make it known. I asked 20 men if they engage in foreplay before sex and guess what? 17 men said if the woman asked then yes but if she never suggested foreplay then they got right to business. So can we blame our men for the lack of communication on our part? Men are not mind readers nor are they body readers. So if you desire more before getting straight to the sex why not tell that to your man. It’s important to be comfortable with each other when it comes to sexual requests. When communication lacks, both parties will be faking how great it is. We can act as if we do not fake the fulfillment of our sexual encounters but I am pretty sure that on more than one occasion you have found yourself so bored that you faked the orgasm in desperate need to end the catastrophe. Intimacy is supposed to be a satisfying, mind-blowing, body tingling encounter and we decrease that pleasure when we fail to communicate our wants. If you do not feel comfortable communicating your sexual cravings to your partner then the both of you do not need to be having sex!
It makes you think. Has intimacy become more casual? What I mean is - are there no more occasions of candlelight, hot oil body massages, intimate bubble baths, or soothing music that sets the mood? What about making love on the beach? Or even a romantic encounter in the shower? Do these intimate mood setters not exist anymore? Is this not a part of foreplay? We cannot just link foreplay to physical touching, kissing and teasing. Foreplay comes in many forms. Setting the mood for a romantic night can fall into the category of foreplay. Foreplay is not only a set of intimate physical acts to build up sexual arousal but it is also a set of intimate PSYCHOLOGICAL acts to build up sexual arousal. So why do we skip the romancing and dining. Are we so quick to “get it in” that we refuse to cherish the body and all of its pleasures?
Foreplay is not only for the ladies - men love it as well, especially with the woman they love. There’s nothing like greeting your man after a hard day of work THE RIGHT WAY. Standing in the doorway with your sexy lingerie on and those pumps that he loves so much. Having your manicure and pedicure on point and taking time to turn that jungle into a paradise, not to forget getting that haircut or extensions that he finds to be so sexy! Now this is greeting your man the right way! Do our hard workingmen not deserve it? And for my men, the same goes for you. After your woman has been with the kids all day, and cleaning and cooking a hot meal for you I am sure she wants more than a tap on the shoulder in the middle of the night. Get a babysitter and wine and dine her not just for the night but why not for the day? Do things that you have not been able to do since the kids and the job has taken up so much time and energy. Make her feel young again and pleasure her from head to toe. All of this falls into foreplay. You are arousing your partner physiologically. What the mind feels the body soon follows. Therefore as they become psychologically aroused their body will eventually follow suite. And I hope you are ready because foreplay can lead to the most astonishing sex that you will ever experience.
So do not be shy in relaying the message of your needs and sexual desires and dreams to your partner. Let them know what you want to do and what you love. In the end it will better your relationship. The attractiveness will keep burning and your yearning desire for your partner is going to be NON STOP. Give it a try. Tell your partner how you like it from start to finish. Let them perform and lets stop making sex so casual with our loves and lets spice it up with some fun between the sheets.
The Written Words Of AJT.
FOREPLAY is a woman’s best friend. Now we cannot blame the men for not pleasing our requests of foreplay because most of us women do not make it known. I asked 20 men if they engage in foreplay before sex and guess what? 17 men said if the woman asked then yes but if she never suggested foreplay then they got right to business. So can we blame our men for the lack of communication on our part? Men are not mind readers nor are they body readers. So if you desire more before getting straight to the sex why not tell that to your man. It’s important to be comfortable with each other when it comes to sexual requests. When communication lacks, both parties will be faking how great it is. We can act as if we do not fake the fulfillment of our sexual encounters but I am pretty sure that on more than one occasion you have found yourself so bored that you faked the orgasm in desperate need to end the catastrophe. Intimacy is supposed to be a satisfying, mind-blowing, body tingling encounter and we decrease that pleasure when we fail to communicate our wants. If you do not feel comfortable communicating your sexual cravings to your partner then the both of you do not need to be having sex!
It makes you think. Has intimacy become more casual? What I mean is - are there no more occasions of candlelight, hot oil body massages, intimate bubble baths, or soothing music that sets the mood? What about making love on the beach? Or even a romantic encounter in the shower? Do these intimate mood setters not exist anymore? Is this not a part of foreplay? We cannot just link foreplay to physical touching, kissing and teasing. Foreplay comes in many forms. Setting the mood for a romantic night can fall into the category of foreplay. Foreplay is not only a set of intimate physical acts to build up sexual arousal but it is also a set of intimate PSYCHOLOGICAL acts to build up sexual arousal. So why do we skip the romancing and dining. Are we so quick to “get it in” that we refuse to cherish the body and all of its pleasures?
Foreplay is not only for the ladies - men love it as well, especially with the woman they love. There’s nothing like greeting your man after a hard day of work THE RIGHT WAY. Standing in the doorway with your sexy lingerie on and those pumps that he loves so much. Having your manicure and pedicure on point and taking time to turn that jungle into a paradise, not to forget getting that haircut or extensions that he finds to be so sexy! Now this is greeting your man the right way! Do our hard workingmen not deserve it? And for my men, the same goes for you. After your woman has been with the kids all day, and cleaning and cooking a hot meal for you I am sure she wants more than a tap on the shoulder in the middle of the night. Get a babysitter and wine and dine her not just for the night but why not for the day? Do things that you have not been able to do since the kids and the job has taken up so much time and energy. Make her feel young again and pleasure her from head to toe. All of this falls into foreplay. You are arousing your partner physiologically. What the mind feels the body soon follows. Therefore as they become psychologically aroused their body will eventually follow suite. And I hope you are ready because foreplay can lead to the most astonishing sex that you will ever experience.
So do not be shy in relaying the message of your needs and sexual desires and dreams to your partner. Let them know what you want to do and what you love. In the end it will better your relationship. The attractiveness will keep burning and your yearning desire for your partner is going to be NON STOP. Give it a try. Tell your partner how you like it from start to finish. Let them perform and lets stop making sex so casual with our loves and lets spice it up with some fun between the sheets.
The Written Words Of AJT.
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