Wednesday 14 September 2011

"A Lack Of Confidence Leads to A Lack Of Love Life"

Okay you “Negative Nancys” and “Doubtful Dans” this one is for you!

We have all come in contact with individuals who complain more about their life than they show their gratefulness. They constantly put themselves down and broadcast how miserable they are and how loneliness with 10 cats is the conclusion to the rest of their lives.

News flash for all you Dans and Nancys---------the more you place doubt into our minds, and the more you speak negativity over your life that is exactly what you will produce! You think a man or woman is going to want to be with you when you think so low of yourself? I personally would want to date someone confident in themselves. Someone who knows their professional capabilities are endless and someone who looks in the mirror and takes pride in what they see. Now that is attractive! When you know you have a lot to give no one can tell you any different. If you do not believe in yourself why should anyone else? If you are embarrassed at the way you look and walk around with your head hung to the concrete then why would someone treat you better while you treat yourself repulsively?

Beating yourself up is not attractive and it most definitely will turn people off! Complaining about what you do not have or what you do not look like is not going to impress anyone. Everyone wants an individual who finds sexiness, attractiveness, and purpose in their gifts as well as their faults.

You are your own worst enemy and vice versa – YOU ARE YOUR BIGGEST FAN

Finding excuses to why that woman or man will never approach you is only feeding your mind and body to follow suit to those thoughts. If you tell yourself “no he/she will never be attracted to someone like me” well guess what? You are exactly right. I will not fight with you. You know why? Because you know you better than anyone else so if you tell me that you are not good enough you better believe that I am going to have to agree. That cloud over your head is going to draw people away from you and it will eventually be the cause of the loneliness you want to avoid.

Confidence is so important when it comes to dating because believe it or not, when you have confidence in how you walk, how you speak, how you excel at your job and your achievements you make someone intimidated and you make them want you more. Now we can say intimidation is a bad thing but really it isn’t. A little intimidation is good. It’s good to let someone know that you are interested BUT, that if it does not work out; you are still going to be amazing. That attracts people believe It or not! It brings on the challenge. No one works hard for anything they know will come easy and its important to make that man/woman who wants you work hard for you. When you show them that you have confidence in yourself it draws them in.

Point is ---- no one wants to be with you when you have a horrible self esteem because people in relationships want to focus on loving one another not picking each other up when they should not have to.

We do this even when we are in relationships and it’s not healthy. Do not make your partner feel as if loving you is the most difficult task in the world. So many times we find ourselves comparing who we are to whom our partners have dated in the past. The past is irrelevant. What matters is that your partner found something in you more special to preserve than what they had in the past. What matters is the present, which is shaping the future of your love. Stop comparing your achievements, you body, your weight, your beauty to others because just by doing that you are reflecting a low self-esteem. An individual confident in himself or herself does not need to compare himself or herself to anyone because they are more than satisfied with the person they see when they look in the mirror. You are in a relationship with someone who loves you and when you belittle yourself with your actions and your words you not only make it difficult to be loved but you make them second guess if you are ready to be in the relationship. If you cannot see how amazing you are why should they?

If there is something about yourself that you are unhappy with then change it! You want to lose weight and be healthier then go to the gym! But stop stressing over things that you cannot change! For instance, women and their stretch marks: Ladies, this is natural and you cannot let it get you down. 96% of women have stretch marks! Believe me, MEN DO NOT CARE so stop stressing over something you cannot help. Men, stop stressing about your package! Women do love a nice size but we also understand that it’s more about how you use it than how it’s hanging! And if you find yourself in a relationship with someone who constantly reminds you of your physical shortcomings then you most definitely do not need to be with them in the first place. The only individuals who talk down to you are the ones who lack security in them. Do not hold yourself to individuals like his. Let their insecurity be their issue and do not allow yourself to drown in it!

We find ourselves getting so hung up over physical attributes that we forget that over time those physical attributes fade. What’s left after that? Confidence, self-assurance and the loving person that your partner fell in love with years ago.

I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE when I say it is so uncomfortable to be around someone who speaks such vulgarity about him or herself.

I can spot a confident individual from a mile away. Some call it “swag” but its far more intense than that.

Be that person who’s partner loves loving them. There is a such thing as being with someone who does not love loving you and it happens when you stop loving yourself. Quit beating yourself up over whom you are or who you aren’t. Learn to accept you for you because if you don’t start now then you will be welcoming those 10 cats later! LOL.

WHEN YOU LOVE WHO YOU ARE YOU ALLOW OTHERS TO LOVE YOU AS WELL!

The Written words of AJT

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You couldn't of said it any better than that!! I just love reading your blogs. They are so inspiring and encouraging.

Sweetallover1 said...

You couldn't of said it any better than that!! I just love reading your blogs. They are so inspiring and encouraging.

Anonymous said...

soooo true!

jenny said...

A lot of people have low selfesteem because of what they been through. But that shouldn't keep you standing still. If your standing still your not going anywhere. Why is that? Because you doubt yourself and when you doubt yourself you show yourself and the rest of the world that you don't even respect yourself. You loose confidence and people look the other way. Admire your inner and outer beauty. Your happiness is everyone happiness and if you don't stand up tall with your head up high, people will continue to look down. The strength that you put into misery is the strength you could have been putting into happiness. It doesn't matter what you have or don't have its how you got there (positively) to get what you wanted makes you the strong person that you may be. It's okay to be humble but only for you to rise and show that your not the weakest link. Build confidence, self respect, indepence, be happy and spread happiness by walking down the street with your head high and tell your self that I am queen/king because you know you are. With confidence of course ;) oh and always love yourself and spread the love too!

Ms.Eri88 said...

That was absolutely amazing... I am a single mother and I wanted to fight for the family portrait. But I had to realize I was hurting myself and my child... She would have grown up feeling, that a dysfunctional household that lacked love was acceptable!! Def not!! This really inspired me in so many different forms.