In any argument we have one main purpose towards our opponent – WIN WIN WIN! And in order to achieve this we dig as deep as we can into their personal emotions and say anything we can think of to bring them down. These actions I would not say are right but at the same time, they are formed from anger and many times we end up getting more hurtful than we intended because its being fueled by our outraged emotions.
In a relationship hitting below the belt is dangerous. It can cause major damage to your relationship and the way you perceive your partner. I understand that sometimes we get so angry and we cannot help what comes out of our mouths, especially during the worse situations like cheating, abuse, and neglect. When we find that our partner has been unfaithful it hurts and we want to do anything in our power to make them feel that same pain, so during the argument we find ourselves bringing in unnecessary stories, circumstances and people and we mold all of it into a hurtful insult.
Have you ever heard the quote “don’t make promises when you are happy and don’t make decisions when you are mad”? Well this is that exact scenario. When we are angry with our partners the best thing to do is to follow the words of your Kindergarten teacher when she taught us the number one solution towards conflict “WALK AWAY”. Okay many of you bold readers out there are looking like “What? Yeah right! I am going to play the game better because you cannot play the player and I want to win!” well if you are thinking like this I would have to say that you have a lot of growing to do when it comes to relationships. Winning the argument is not what it is all about, especially when you want to KEEP your relationship. The best thing to do before it gets too heated is to walk away. Give yourself and your partner some space and time to think it through. Come back and then sit down and talk like two grown adults about what angered you in the first place and what you both can do to fix it.
The mature way to handle it is to TALK calmly without taking LOW BLOWS and hits towards someone’s insecurities and faults. That means leave the insults out about how your partner sucks in bed and how you fake orgasms or for my men, telling your girl that she IS JUST LIKE HER MOTHER! Or for my ladies saying “I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO MY FRIENDS/MOM (MEN HATE THAT) lol. On a more serious note arguing is pointless when you plan on spending the rest of your life with an individual but if you are going to do it, be smart enough to NOT run them away by your hurtful words and blunt assumptions. Walking away and taking that space is imperative to the survival of your relationship. Now what I am about to say is very important!
NEVER EVER GO TO BED MAD!
This is not a solution. When we go to bed upset with our partners we drag that argument into the next day and that makes it even worse because nothing is getting accomplished or settled. You want to wake up new and refreshed without thinking of that horrible argument you and your love had the day before. Not to mention when we make up before we go to bed we have the opportunity to indulge in some AMAZING MAKE UP SEX! =) Believe me by the morning all will be forgiven =)
But on a more “pro-life” note- you never know what tomorrow may bring. You never know if the person lying next to you is going to wake up. The worse thing in the world is waking up and finding that your love is no longer there, or is injured and the last words you spoke were hurtful sentences brought on by a pity argument and anger. Life is too short to drag on a fight and hold grudges towards your love.
Before those words leave your lips think twice about its consequences and always remember that after every insult you dish out there is a different emotion that your partner receives. It can leave them embarrassed or emotionally scarred because “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
The written words of AJT
2 comments:
I agree to some extent. I can go below the belt and when i do i can careless of the consequence once you took me there. You did some hurtful things to me for me to go there and i felt like doing worse. See people have the tendancy to be cold and dont care bout other people feelings or can dish it real bad but cant take it. So i say they get what they deserve messing with me so be careful what u do to certain people. Cus its what you DO to me that makes me go in on you, i dont care what u said words never hurt me cus peole say things they dont mean or out of hurt. Its what u do to ME or a person thats really low,,,, action speak louder than words thats a persons truth what they do. Words only hurt sensitve guilty people. So when sensitive guilty peope throwing low blows just know your emotions and be prepared for the come back. Dont dish it if you cant take it. And the one that dished it back someimes dont care at that point.
I agree that of you can't take it dish it but I am on the firing line of getting it without dishing it with my partner at the moment see I think drink is a major problem.. Especially when it's the male.. For them to hit below the belt and believe you me if I wanted to I could rip that man pieces I had alot of hurtful things said to me last night and the whole walk Away Doesn't work when the other if fueled on to much alcohol.. They follow you and hit a few more low Blows in my case I shall wait untill he awakens and I shall hit him with so home truths Yes retaliation is key to prove to the other you won't forgive what was said as the words spoken are hurtful so there for I shall show him exactly how it feels to be spoken down to.. There's a certain amount of intelligence needed as words are more hurtful than all the hurt deep down. I am a nasty piece of work and if it wasn't at 4 am of a morning maybe I would have upset the idiot before hand.. But I was tired I have children to take to school of a morning. And that's all they need is to hear there parents bellowing at eachother.
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