Why You and Your Boo Need A Vacation ASAP!

I find that one of life’s biggest threats to relationships is routine. After a while a relationship falls into repetitiveness: you get up, go to work, get home, make dinner, shower, watch TV, read etc. and the next day you do it all over again. If you have children: You get up, get the kids ready, get yourselves ready, make breakfast, head out the door, come home, get the kids ready for bed, eat dinner and the next day you find yourself repeating that routine.

Routine can cause your relationship less communication, less surprises, less romance, less TIME. And this is why the one thing vital to any relationship MUST be taken advantage of: vacation!

Every couple needs a vacation away, just the two of them.

No kids, no schedules, no responsibility, no work, and no obligations: just the two of you together, alone. When we put “couples” and “vacation” together we immediately think of sexual intimacy, but to be honest that is not the most rewarding part of vacationing with your significant other. It is the closeness, the bond and the overall attraction that makes vacationing worthwhile. It’s as if you are dating again for the first time. You actually have the opportunity to sit with your partner and indulge in pleasant conversation without any interruption.

Recently, my partner and I went on vacation to Spain, Portugal and the Canary Islands. It was a remarkable experience. However, the scenery and location alone was not its greatest serenity: It was fulfilling because we took a break from school, work and everyday obligations. We had the opportunity to really talk to one another about our individual future plans.

At home we all focus on the usual - getting the bills paid, making sure the house is clean, finishing up homework, getting ready and prepared for work in the morning, getting the kids to bed etc. We rarely have the time to enjoy the individualism of our relationships. I had the opportunity of sitting with my partner and listening to his views on multiple subjects to include family, friends, and his future aspirations. I was getting to know him all over again. It wasn’t about us. I made it all about him, an individual whom I love. Our conversations would last hours and the laughs would be even longer.

Our talks were far more enhanced during this vacation. Usually when we get home he is tired from school and I am tired from work. In the evenings we go workout, shower, eat and we have absolutely no energy left except to hop into bed and sleep. We needed to get away. We needed to regain our liveliness and most importantly we needed to have fun and relax together.

The entire vacation I felt like a high school girl dating and falling in love. Our intimacy was based off more than sexual attraction. It was more of a yearning to be heard, to be understood and to just relish in the time that we had to confide in one another on a deeper level.

When we returned home we brought with us beautiful pictures, once in a lifetime experiences, souvenirs, great laughs, unforgettable memories but most importantly we brought back an extreme appreciation for the relationship we share.

A vacation is your way of rekindling anything that may have been lost during the busy, exhausting days that life surely brings or to just simply take a break out of life’s “routinal” character. As a young couple we are in a building stage. We are working towards building our businesses, getting educated and staying on a fruitful path: Both college students, overseas, saving money, obtaining our degrees. We are so motivated and focused on the work we sometimes forget to just stop and appreciate the moment we have together. I am sure this is not only our story but others as well.

Life’s responsibilities should not take away from your love. You owe it to your relationship to always give back to a love that has given you so much. I am going to make sure my partner and I vacation at least 2-3 times a year. It has truly been a breathtaking experiencing and one that I hope you will all surely partake in.

The Written Words of AJT

The More You Pressure Him, The More You Push Him Away!

As women, what is the one thing we want the most from our men besides the familiar honesty, trust and love: it is commitment! We want our men to be committed to us and only us but we understand how difficult this can be for a man to buckle down and truly commit to one relationship.

We think men are afraid they are missing out on something when they decide to settle down with one woman. Truth is, men have a hard time trusting women just as women have a hard time trusting men? Why? Because in recent years women have been killing their credibility.

How many women commit to independence over any form of “submittance” to a man? It all plays a key role in the reasons why it is hard for a man to trust our intentions. 

I tell you one thing, if you want your man to commit to you the fastest way to destroy that hope is by constantly pressuring him into it. A man will commit when he is READY to commit. One thing about men is that the majority will not stay if they honestly do not want to be in the relationship. Women, on the other hand, are very likely to stay in a relationship they hate. If a man isn’t happy he will leave; however for women, we stay hoping, praying and wishing for our man to change.

If you want your man (or woman for that matter) to take the relationship a bit more seriously it starts with your actions.  You have to ask yourself, “What am I doing to make my partner hesitant on committing to me?” Now I am not saying it is your fault that your partner strays from commitment, however before you pressure someone into loving you unconditionally you have to make sure you have made them it is worthwhile.

If you are constantly getting the go around from your partner then maybe you need to also re evaluate the wants and expectations of one another. If your partner does not want to move forward right now then you have to decide if they are worth waiting for. Are their traits and future aspirations towards the relationship coinciding with yours? Do you both want the same things in life in terms of commitment and a family for that matter? Never want to settle down so bad that you give up your needs. There are too many people in this world who want the same things as you.

I hate to see people struggling with their partners because they are not getting what they need from them. You should never have to force someone into loving you the way you need to be loved. If they have proven that they cannot provide the kind of relationship that you need then let it go. Easier said than done right? But then again, who wants to wake up every morning knowing they are living a lie and cheating their own heart. You choose.

The Written Words of AJT