Women have 101 reasons and complaints about their mens' “easily distracted” trait however I cannot completely side with women on this one. Why? Because men DO listen. The reason we think they do not listen is because their body language reads, “I don’t care” when we constantly convey senseless, unimportant, repetitive subjects. These things will turn a man off because he may think you are insulting his intelligence or constantly complaining. Hence his reasoning for labeling you a “nagger”
As women we are too often in the habit of presuming our men are aware of our expectations. Bottom line is until you voice your concerns, expectancies and positions on the subjects your man will not know what you want of him. This is where so many of us automatically label our men as incompetent when really it is a lack of communication on our part.
I am not saying men ALWAYS listen but in my experience as well as watching, listening and gaining an understanding from the men who read my blog; they focus on listening to the things that matter. If you are coming home daily venting about your girlfriends’ business, why your boss “does not like you” or stressing your man about finances, bills, childcare etc. there are two reasons why you lose his attention.
1. Girlfriend talk is for your "GIRLFRIENDS". Many of us women are fortunate enough to have boyfriends/husbands who we can call our best friends however that does not mean we should place them in the “girlfriend” category and talk to them about subjects and topics that men rarely care about. A man loves a woman who can hold a deep, meaningful conversation because it takes him back to why he fell in love with her in the first place. Whether it is her humor, her intelligence or her interest for what he has to say, when giving him a meaningful conversation she raises the bar and his attention span!
2. Men (who know and uphold the persona of king of the jungle in the household - SN: These are the men I love and adore) already know the financial issues concerning the relationship and the family. They do not need their woman to come home nagging them about business that is, more than likely, already stressing them out. Men want to be the provider and sometimes life gets tough to where it begins to take a personal tool on his pride. As his woman you need to be encouraging him of better days not nagging him because you cannot buy a new dress, get your nails done or get that expensive hair do that you have been dying to try. Let your man be the man! Do not worry him about household issues that he already has a handle over. If you want to make innovating suggestions do it in a more conserved tone without rhetorical questions and a smart mouth. Your attitude and repetitive questioning does not make him feel good but instead turns him off of the conversation causing him to tune you out completely.
We do not give men enough credit. We hold high expectations of our men without ever taking into consideration the expectations that they hold towards us as women. Enlighten your man with a meaningful, profound conversation instead of bitterness, nagging and frustration. If you want him to listen give him something to listen to. When someone is disinterested it will be hard for him or her to stay focused on what you have to say. This is not just men this is the human race. Will everyone you meet be interested in EVERYTHING you have to say? No. So why do you expect your man to be? Ladies, we have to be realistic. Understand what we are asking of our men and make it achievable for them to provide it.
The Written Words Of AJT
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