Is It Safe Sex or No Sex?

For many individuals sex is more enjoyable when a condom is not used. They feel condoms are a waste of time for when you are in the heat of the moment it is the last thing you want to place your energy into doing and some believe condoms take away from the "complete" physical interaction. One man relayed to me that he saw a condom as a “barrier” between himself and his girlfriend and therefore relied on her birth control only. However as we all know, birth control does not protect against nearly as much as a condom does. I pass no judgment on couples who choose to toss condoms out of their bedrooms but is it always neutral between two partners to disown condoms? Or does an idea of one party turn into pressure on the other? When your partner no longer wants to use condoms, and you are hesitant on not using them how do you tell them without the risk of losing the sexual flame?

If you are a person 100% adamant on utilizing condoms, when your partner says, “no more condoms, I trust you” how do you disagree without them taking it personally? Answer - You tell them immediately! 

If you are uncomfortable having sex loosely never put yourself in the position to do so because it will constantly haunt your mind. All of your fears associated with the reasons why you use condoms will consciously trouble you and in turn it will negatively affect your relationship. You will find yourself not wanting to have sex with your partner because of their requests that threaten far more than a pregnancy.

Let me stop here and say honestly, bluntly and realistically that being safe has nothing to do with trust. Ladies, if your man wants to wear a condom during sex it does not mean he thinks you are a hoe and been around the block a few times. He is not just trying to protect himself, he is also protecting you. No birth control is 100% and we have all heard the “faulty” stories of when it does not work to its full potential. So get it out of your head that your man thinks little of you. His choice to wear a condom for a bit more protection is something you should admire because most men cry later for not being so careful earlier.

When it comes to sex comfort has to be met for both parties. If your woman/man does not want to use condoms and you fear for the consequences of neglecting them YOU NEED TO TELL THEM. I refuse to give a health lecture on sex and condoms because we all know it therefore we need to stop getting offensive when our partners want to take greater means of protection. It does not reflect negatively on you or your relationship. There are many individuals out there who take their health a bit more guardedly and want to protect themselves and the woman/man whom they love. Their cautiousness should be something to respect not something that you sexually blacklist them for.

The Written Words of AJT