What Does Your Partner's Christmas Gift To You Say About Your Love?

Happy Holidays!!!

A woman told me today when I posted this blog topic – “My ex husband every Christmas would buy me flowers, chocolates and get me a card. I felt so special. He is very well off and although the price of the gift was never expensive I was just glad I was getting something. However when we divorced and he remarried, a mutual friend on Facebook showed me his page and I saw that he bought his new wife a brand new Mercedes Truck for Christmas. When we were married he never bought me anything of the sort. You think you are something to someone because of what they do for you until you see them do more for someone else. Then reality slaps you in the face.”

Is our partner’s gift a reflection of their view on the relationship?

The stores are packed, wallets become thin, and everyone is in a giving mood. What better time than Christmas to show someone you love what they mean to you and how blessed you are to have him or her. The spiritual feeling of doing for others is at an all time high during the holidays, and for some, money plays no part in the length they would go to get the perfect gift. However others rely more on the thought and meaning of the gift rather than the price tag. But is a low priced gift always out of thought?

I have known many individuals who opt to be single during the holidays to avoid the confrontation that gift giving can sometimes bring. Yes I did say confrontation. Some of us expect our partners to go above and beyond for us when the holidays arrive because lets face it; we like to think we would do the same for them. Let us not pretend like our excitement remains at an all time high when we unveil a gift that we surely do not want or a gift that surely does not reflect whom we are. Many of us are guilty of it. Does it make us ungrateful?

The fact that we expected our partner to show a bit more consideration, knowledge of who we are and affection through our gift only to present something merely mediocre and strange, makes us automatically look selfish, distasteful and materialistic. Okay new scenario – what if my man drives a Bentley, lives in a mansion and walks around his college campus carrying a Gucci bag but Christmas rolls around and he gets me a $9 bath and body works gift basket? Should I be grateful for the gift or confused at its currency? While some women would say, “it is the thought that matters” if I notice my man constantly buying himself $200 cologne, $1,000 bags and jewelry that costs more than my wardrobe and I get $9 worth of lotion and body spray I probably will never use, you telling me I should not feel cheap or insignificant? Come on, lets get real!

Point is different scenarios and situations impact what we expect from our partner.

If your partner has been struggling all year with money but still manages to get you a gift - that is a loving gesture that should be well appreciated. If your partner’s weak trait is gift giving because they can never pick out the right thing but manages to get you something thoughtful anyways, no matter what the price is, it should be well appreciated. Are you catching my drift? Associate your gift to your partner. The gift will tell you how much your partner truly knows and listens to you. This is where the thought comes in.

For some reason we are programmed to believe that if we are given something we HAVE to appreciate it, love it, care for it and pay homage to the person who gave it to us. If I am allergic to dogs and my partner gives me a dog on Christmas how will I appreciate it? I would think, “you don’t know me better than that to know I am allergic to dogs.” The same goes for any gift.

The summation of this blog article is: No, the price does not matter however the thought does and most importantly the knowledge your partner has of who you are. Getting the same gift every year from your partner can impose that they simply do not have the care to think of something new. Getting an inexpensive gift from your wealthy or nicely paid partner that had no meaning to it can impose selfishness.

Know how to read the signs, and for my gift givers out there, always buy your partner a gift that years from now they can tell the story to your children about why you bought it for them. When your partner opens their gift they should already know its definition no mater what the price tag says.

The Written Words of AJT