The way you dress does affect the men/woman you attract. The way you speak does affect the men/woman you attract. The people you hang out with does influence the men/women you attract. You may think this is bogus but when you are walking down the street and you see an individual that you are attracted to, you are attracted to them by their poise, the way they are carrying themselves and what they look like. I received so many questions this week basically asking "why do I keep attracting the same men/women?"
Why are men so surprised when the girl who hangs in the club all week, wears shorts up to her crotch, constantly has her nose in her phone, has a bad relationship with her family, with a mouth of a sailor, does them wrong? How can you be surprised at the turnout of a relationship with this type of woman? Do her actions and words give off the idea that she will be true to only you and has a sense of maturity towards relationships?
When you decide to be in a relationship with someone who cannot provide as much because their lifestyle or knowledge does not allow them to, you lower your standards and by doing this you will never attain true happiness within that relationship. Happiness comes when the desires have been satisfied. Lowering standards that you have kept for so long because someone you "like" cannot amount to them gives you an "it's okay" feeling but it does not bring you joy and satisfaction. Do not lower your standards instead grow in patience and faith that the right person will come along (because they will) and keep your love to yourself until that person comes into your life. Willingly giving our love to those who are not ready to handle it is a waste of time. Eventually the relationship will come to an end, and as most of us do, we will hold back in giving that love to the next person, who just might be THE ONE.
As women and men we need to stop placing personal infliction upon ourselves. Dating people we truly know cannot give us what we deserve only shows our lack of understanding our own worth. Settling is the worst-case scenario! There are too many people in the world for us to be settling for less. Why do we end up giving chances to someone who is not mature enough to handle the type of relationship we are searching for?
When reading people and deciding whether to go forward with the relationship there are qualities that you can see before you make that choice. For example, if a man has kids that he does not take care of how can you believe that he will take care of you? He does not respect nor help the mother of his children so please explain to me why you will be different? And the sad thing is that many women believe THEY ARE DIFFERENT. Time to open your eyes ladies! Think about it, would you want the father of your kids to put his girlfriend in front of the children? So why do you think you should come before his? Putting ourselves in opposite perspectives opens our eyes to more common sense doesn't it?
It is imperative that you know your worth because it enables you to never settle for less. Individuals who put themselves in situations where they are in relationships that bring no progress or happiness to their lives are lost in a challenge of finding their worth. You will run in circles putting up with things you know you should not have to put up with. Not everyone deserves your love. Kill the constant habit of settling for people who are too young in the heart to handle what you throw at them. Find someone more on your level. It is much easier balancing a relationship with someone who wants the same progression as you.
I know attracting the same people can get tiring but to be honest, this is based off of YOU. Take a second and think of the person you believe you should be attracting. That same individual you describe is the individual that you feel can supply your needs and fits to your worth. From this day forth, keep that description and do not settle for anyone below those qualities and I promise you, you will find that the ones you have dated in the past will not coincide to the ones you will date in the future. Set a standard and STICK TO IT!
The written words of AJT
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