I use to be
the type of person who found cheating to be so inexcusable that forgiveness
couldn’t be associated with it. I found
those who cheated to be repulsive, weak willed, disheartened individuals. I had
faith that in real love there were no slip ups, mistakes, or cheating if you
truly loved, cared, cherished and appreciated the person. Well, I grew up. I
realized the one thing that many of us fail to comprehend when it comes to
relationships and life in general which is – We are ALL human and that makes us
imperfect from creation. Most relationships fail to last after infidelity, lies
or deceit takes place. They fail to last because either the love has not grown
strong enough to fight the blow or they lack an understanding that their
partner will make mistakes.
When your
partner makes mistakes it does not mean they love you less or that they no
longer believe in your love. Some mistakes happen because for one brief moment judgment
is clouded and the consequences are usually never well thought out. The hurt
brought on from the mistake fades from the mind and our true wants can become
confusing. I am not writing this blog to makes excuses for the ones who are
constantly hurting their partners. I am writing this blog for the person who
made a mistake towards someone they love, truly care for, cherish and needs in
their life. I am writing this blog for someone who is trying to forgive his or
her partner and move on.
Cheating is
not always committed by a horrible person.
Cheating is
not always committed by someone who does not love you.
Cheating is
not always committed by a heartbreaker.
Cheating
can be committed due to loneliness. Cheating can be committed due to low self-esteem.
Cheating can be committed by the most kind hearted individual who was missing
something from the person they loved and wrongfully seeked it in someone they
care nothing for. It isn’t until the mistake is made that the person realizes
the pain and anguish they caused towards their relationship.
If you love
your partner and you really know their heart then maybe you have to look within
your relationship and understand why they made the mistake. However, most
importantly - Before the mistake was made, concerns and desires should have
been communicated. Unfortunately, sometimes it takes a mistake to wake a person
up into realizing what they have or what they are about to lose. Either way,
deceiving and hurting someone you love is unjustifiable. STILL, IT IS
FORGIVEABLE.
There is
nothing like a love that goes through a blow but stands strong. These are the
relationships that celebrate the golden anniversaries. These are the
relationships where both partners find one another to be perfect for each other
but NOT perfect people. These are the relationships that take a wrong, analyze
it and FIX it. These are the relationships that keep no record of wrongs, but
always take into account the way their partner needs to be loved. These are the
relationships that forgive, build, mature and understand the true meaning of
FORGIVENESS.
Forgiving
partners do not hold wrongs over their lover’s heads. They do not bring up the
past in arguments. They do not forgive without allowing their partners to
forgive themselves as well. They do not play the hurt victim for too long. They
hurt but they think of ways to better their relationship. No one said
forgiveness was easy…But when you are loving the RIGHT person. When you are
with the RIGHT person forgiveness is something that must be learned and CAN be achieved.
There
is no global standard, generalization or specifics to forgiveness. When we
embark on love we must have an understanding of what it truly means to forgive.
It is time that more relationships learn, flourish and understand the REAL
meaning of FORGIVENESS.
The written
words of AJT
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