"If The Ring Don't Fit...I'm Out" What?

In a world consumed in fashion, jewelry and keeping up with the trends have we carried over our materialistic ways into love? Over the years, it seems that the materialistic gesture of marriage is what passes judgment to the love between two individuals. “If the ring isn’t big enough then the man does not love her.” What? This is pure insanity.

I remember being a young girl talking to my girlfriends at the lunch table about how big the engagement ring will be when I find prince charming. I was more interested in the luxury of the “bling” than explaining to them what kind of golden prince I wanted to put it on my finger! I was more interested in the white gold; black diamonds and princess cut exposure of the materialistic gesture than the description of my perfect guy. But at that time was I any different than the women of this day in age? When a woman is proposed to she rather you pull out an 18K gold ring than to get on one knee in the “traditional” sense.

The sad part is that as women we have been making it so hard for our men! There are some men who can yet afford a fancy ring. There are some men who will never be able to afford that 3 million dollar ring that as women we fantasized about as young girls. But should it matter? Many will go to say, “I do not want to settle and I deserve the best.” That may be true. But if you are the type to let real love go because the man of your dreams cannot afford the luxurious ring then maybe you are not deserving of that good man. Does a worthy man deserve a woman who he has given all his love to yet she still remains unsatisfied because the ring falls too short of her expectancies?

We have allowed society and its advertisements to brainwash us into thinking that the ring is a replica of a man’s love for a woman. If men believe “if the ring is too small she will not marry me” that not only says a lot about the man but it says even more about the woman because he actually believes that she is so superficial that if the ring is not met to her highest hopes, not only will she turn him down, but she will walk away. How can we give our men these assumptions? Back in the day people did not need rings to get married. A heartfelt proposal from the right person was more than enough. Love is not materialistic nor is it based off materialistic gestures and the bulk of a man or woman’s wallet. We say we deserve this and we deserve that but until we really truly understand the sacred commitment of marriage and the true meaning of love how can we deserve to take vows to another human being, and in the same sense, become one with that individual? Knowing how to love holds tremendous importance. Many of us want to be married so bad that we prematurely jump the broom without having a legitimate grasp on the steps we are vowing to take.

Ladies, if you are worried about your finger being well accommodated when it comes to marrying your perfect guy then you have proven, not that you have high resting expectations, not that you do not settle for anything less, but instead it shows your lack of faithfulness towards real love. Love does not weigh the pocket change. You can have the most extravagant wedding that only costs 500 dollars! We get so wrapped into the exquisite wedding that we tend to forget the reason for the social engagement in the first place. It is not to walk down the isle in hopes that everyone is “hating” on how good you look. It is not to put up a front like the wedding did not set you back a few thousand dollars. It is not to keep focus on whether or not the ring can be seen from a mile away. At least that is not my vision of it. As a woman I would like to walk down the isle with nothing but him on my mind. I never want to look into the crowd for my eyes will remain glued on this man, my perfect man. When he places the ring on my finger I won’t even look down because I will still be in an admirable stage reciting throughout my mind the vows he just wonderfully promised to me. Nothing would matter but this moment and time where I promise to share my life with the man of my dreams. The day will be cherished as the day I take full advantage of pure, true, untouchable love. That is the day of a woman’s wedding. She is happy, she is joyous and at peace with her heart and soul because she has found her other half. So many times we over look the small things about the most precious occasions in life. We allow ourselves to be blinded.

Do not allow that man to slip away because your friends are saying “No that ring is too small.” And you wonder why they are still single? If this man treats you as his queen, does everything imaginable for you, gives you all he can and puts you first before his own life, how can you let this man walk away because he cannot provide you with the materialistic, worldly praise of a large diamond ring? Be smart and celebrate the occasion and the meaning of what you are about to partake in. A ring can be damaged it can be tarred, it can be destroyed but a real love does not die. It does not wither over time and unlike the ring it gets stronger, more beautiful, and the wealth is far more excessive than that of the 18K gold ring that lies upon your finger. No amount of worldly gesture can surpass the love between two individuals vowing to spend the rest of their lives together.

The Written word of AJT