"What You Won't Do, Do For Love"

“Let Me Help You
Take Off Your Shoes
Untie Your Shoestrings
Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn The Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy”

Now that is what you call catering to your man! However, would we call it submissive? Too many times we get definitions and acts towards our relationships confused. The definition of submissive is – “ready to conform to the authority or will of others; obedient, passive.”

So now that we are good on the definition of submissive would you say that the song lyrics to Destiny’s Child’s “Cater To You” are submissive? Many that I questioned said yes they are-- well I beg to differ. To me, the song is about a woman who is pleasing her man and not by AUTHORITY but out of love and respect for what he does for her. So again does this song sound submissive?

A few men, once I interviewed them on the subject, said they want their woman to be submissive in some ways however too much submission is overwhelming. What? You see this is where I come to scratch my head and pause while I am writing this blog so here it is _____________.

Men want a woman who is not running the streets, has not been around the block too much, someone they can bring home to Mom, someone who can cook, clean, wash their clothes and be their better half right? But now you tell me that when a woman does these things too often it is too much for you to handle?

I understand that back in the day women were far more submissive than they are today. Over the decades society has given women more freedom and therefore they are more business prone than “cook, clean, wash clothes” prone. Not every woman knows how to cook as most did centuries ago. Not all women enjoy cleaning and washing their men’s clothes. Some women rather work long hours and expect a warm meal on the table when they get home from their MAN! So yes, times have changed and so have circumstances. BUT, I feel that women allow this to get to their heads sometimes. Working is amazing, getting an education is amazing! However, when you have a good man at home do not forget to keep him happy. Do not let your success and job leave you in bed lonely. Many women look at me with curved necks and rolled eyes and say “my man has two hands, if I am not there he can cook, clean and do whatever he needs to do!” True. I agree; no job is held to one sex. No one has a duty as a man or a woman when it comes to household choirs – BUT there is a large fact that many women miss out on and by the time they have figured it out they have already caught their man red handed playing husband in the home of another woman. And what gets me is that most women want to pay victim – Please read my blog “What You Won’t do For Your Partner, Someone Else Will”. So the large fact that women tend to forget is this:

A MAN HAS TO FEEL LIKE A MAN IN HIS HOME!

Giving your man an apron while you sit on the couch and expect dinner is not allowing him to be a man. He won’t feel like the man of the household. This is not about him cooking; it is about making him feel like the King in his Kingdom just like he makes you feel like his Queen. Ladies if you have a good man what is the issue? Sometimes he needs to be and SHOULD be catered to. Now I am not saying that a man should not cater to his woman what I am saying is that women need to drop the act of “He has hands he can do it himself.” Because while you are making him do it his self another woman will be doing it for him! Do not get into the fear that “I am not going to wait on my man hand and foot” however you expect him to do that for you?

The relationship between a man and woman is 50/50. It should always be equal. Nevertheless all relationships are different- Me personally, I love an equal relationship however when I know cooking, cleaning, keeping the body tight, doing my hair the way he likes it, and doing whatever he loves will keep him happy I am definitely going to give in. This is not me being a “submissive woman” it is me being a good woman to a good man. A good man does not come around too often and many women take them for granted by missing the simple things. We dog our men so bad and give them horrible reputations however, just like a woman a good man just needs to be loved the RIGHT way. So between work and school make sure the other important aspects of your life are getting attention as well. Catering to your man/woman should never include you losing your individuality or who you are.

Too many women have been hurt so much and they take that pain and find themselves living in fear and caution of giving the right man all their love. You will never attain happiness when you love fearfully. The rate of fearful women seems to be increasing. There are not many women willing to cater to the needs of their men. Submissive? No…it’s called showing your love in limitless ways.

The Written words of AJT