We are all on differentiated levels in life. Our minds reside in diverse heights of open mindedness, understanding and awareness. This effects whom we love, how we love them and if the love is everlasting. One of the more imperative aspects of finding the right partner is making sure their goals are in alignment or coincide to your own. They do not have to have the same exact personal/professional ambitions as you however; they have to be headed in the same direction. Why? Because if two people are not on the same balance in life when it comes to the goals set and personal growth pursued then the relationship will never progress because someone will be either left behind or unwillingly dragged along.
A closed minded individual cannot and will not maintain a successful relationship with an open minded individual. Someone who lives for the day cannot and will not maintain a successful relationship with someone who plans, distinguishes and knows exactly where they want to be next week. Many of you will argue with me and say, “opposites attract”. Truth is this theory does not work for the full spectra of choosing a mate. Personalities can be different, style may be different but when it comes to the course of life, movement and growth, both parties have to be headed in the same direction focused on the same outcome. In order to keep the love on neutral ground both parties need to know what they want in life and how they are going to go about retrieving it. How can someone more interested in their profession and less interested in children hold a successful relationship with someone who dreams of having a family? Wouldn’t work.
I notice too occasionally that individuals embark in relationships without giving any thought into the person they are with. You may have a physical attraction to your partner NOW, you may admire their occupation NOW but you have to dig deeper when searching for life companionship; just because they have a good steady job NOW does not mean it is the job they want for the rest of their lives. Find out the dreams and hopes of your partner and make sure you can willingly accept those dreams. The both of you need to understand each other on a more personal level. You need to learn your partners’ position when it comes to having a family, professional development and personal progress. So many get married, find that their future is aligning just the way they pictured it BUT their partner has different ambitions that are pulling them both in separate directions.
We often analyze the life that someone is currently living and we base our love on that alone. You cannot just be in love with someone for who they are now. You have to know that you are going to love them even if what they are doing currently is not what they want to be doing in the long run. It may sound a bit cliché but you would be surprised at how many individuals find out later in the relationship, after vows, promises and devotions have been made, that their partner (for example) wants to quit the firm and open a new business from scratch. It is not until this change of life direction do we realize that we may not be strong enough or able to love them for whom they are trying to become.
****You have to love who they are NOW but you also have to love who they want to become***
The direction in which you are traveling in your life you do not want to be halted because your partner’s life plan is either less or more differentiated. Both of you should have similar goals in mind so you can travel the road together, help one another and reach those heights collectively. Studies show that relationships working together, trying to reach a common goal have a greater chance of surviving compared to a couple where both parties live mentally separated, traveling different life paths. Defuse the surprises and learn upfront what your partner is about now and who they hope to be later on. Make sure that the person you love now you will love them no matter what route in life they choose to take. Support is crucial to a relationship’s triumph because it is where we really show our admiration, hope and faith in our partners. You cannot just support them when you feel like it – love entails support throughout. If you cannot accept their dreams, their beliefs or their directions in life then you need to leave their path and find someone who can travel yours in hopes of reaching a similar destination.
The Written words of AJT
2 comments:
Powerful, are you single or what
That is so true.
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