“Keeping ya’ll business, YA’LL business!!”

Why is it that when we have issues with our significant other we immediately find ourselves sitting in a circle of friends venting every issue, conversation, sexual mistake, and problem that is going on in our relationships? Sometimes, Yes, it is okay to vent to someone close but before venting to someone outside of your relationship, it is important to talk to your loved one first. All your friends and family should not know the ins and outs of your relationship. Keep your business YOUR business!

You run and tell your parents and family what he/she has done and then you wonder why years later they are telling you “you can do better”. Most times we get so caught up in love that we do not tell our family and friends the positive things that our loved one does but once he/she messes up we are knocking down doors and texting away to people we hardly speak to on a regular basis.

So you and that occasional friend find yourselves talking on the phone and texting about your man/woman. Well most of us fail to realize - that person you just hung up the phone with will not keep your secret. Once you tell one individual, believe me you have told another, and the chain continues. I am not trying to down grade your friendships but it is a trait that most people hold- they rather talk about others business than to confront their own! Especially when you vent to someone who is not in relationship. How can a happily or lonely single individual give you advice on your standing relationship?

You may find that your best friend does not like the person you are with. They think that you can do better and are selling yourself short. Sometimes this can be true BUT most cases the friend is making assumptions up from what you have told them about your man/woman. When all you tell them is negativity that is all they will know of the person you are with.

Many of us rather not brag when our relationship is going good. Well it’s the same thing when it is going bad- you should not kill your relationship verbally by venting your business to friends and family. What you should do is be open enough to work it out between you and him/her. There comes a time when you should not have to go back and ask every person you know what to do in your relationship. You are a grown adult and hopefully you are in a mature relationship. You do not need outside cosigners telling you how to run the issues of your relationship! No one will ever know the love you and he/she has. They are not sleeping in your sheets! They are not waking up next to you. They do not live under your roof. What happens in your home should stay in your home.

I will not say that we all have a trait of venting to friends and family about our relationships but I know one trait that most of us hold dear. FACEBOOK! Instead of telling a friend verbally, we rather post foolish Facebook statues. And although most times they are subliminal messages, it does not take too much intelligence to read through the lines. Do not expose the problems of your relationship for all of your 900 friends to see. Facebook is a sure place for people to know your business. They do not call it a social network for nothing!

The point I am trying to make here is, when you have problems, what better person to work it out with than the person you are having that issue with? Talk to your loved one and communicate the issue. Come up with solutions together. Just you and the one you love. Leave those outside influences at the door!!!

The written words of - AJT