Topic: My loved one can be so rude and careless sometimes. They are always late, ignores my calls, comes in at all times of the night and can go days without even talking to me. But I love them and I thought they loved me. So why do I get treated this way?
You can go in and out of your mind trying to figure out why your loved one acts this way but you truly will not find the answer until you do some personal reflection. A PERSON WILL ONLY DO TO YOU WHAT YOU ALLOW THEM TO DO TO YOU. So, when are you going to put your foot down and take control of the situation? I understand that sometimes we are blinded by the affection that we hold for someone, but that is no excuse for enduring disrespect. Even worse, if you do not approach the situation now, you may take this “run over me” trait into your next relationship.
No man or woman wants a loved one who is easily influenced and does not stand up for themselves. Surely, you will be taken advantage of. Sometimes they do not even recognize they are taking advantage of you. It comes natural because they know there are no limits to what you would do for them no matter what they do to you. That is a dangerous assumption for your loved one to have because it leads to other circumstances- cheating and every type of abuse you can think of.
Now let us not forget the BIG issue when it comes to feeling disrespected in a relationship- COMMUNICATION! I know many women are good for this. They hold in their anger, detachment, and pain. They rather walk around the house pouting than to tell their man what is bothering them. This is a BIG NO NO. Communication is key when it comes to understanding each other. So if you are feeling disrespected let your partner know and give them the opportunity to change. However, if you feel that changing is not an option for them well maybe it’s time to walk away. If they do not want to change their disrespectful ways for the survival of the relationship then how could they possibly love you, and how much do they value the relationship?
Compromise is a large factor in love. Too many of us stay in relationships that are headed to nowhere but we have such high hopes that our partners will change for us that we stick around hoping and waiting for something that may never come. Move on and start over. Change is something so many of us are afraid of and it’s another reason why we stay in relationships when subconsciously we know we should go. So ask yourself “Are they really disrespecting me? Or am I disrespecting myself by allowing them to do so?”
The written words of AJT
5 comments:
Sometimes that happens to you women just because we may not be ready for something serious, just the security of a guaranteed sexual encounter.
And if that is the case that is where communication is key. Before you get into a relationship with a woman you should let her know what your expectations are and what they are not.
But communicating that information would only weaken the intensity of the emotion that we recieve from them. Our goal is to capture their heart and selfishly use their love and all that comes with it for thorough decision making. Im not saying we do this because we dont care about women, it's just that dating is a time to determine exactly what you like and dont like about the opposite sex. The more experiences you have, than the faster you learn the personalities and favorable/unfavorable characterisitics of the ideal mate for you. Now I were to effectively communicate this to a woman, she wouldnt understand this concept. She would than want to be "equal" and participate in the same activity. Although, technically it would only be fair for her to do so, it would take away from the authenticity of our encounter because i would not be getting the committment amoungst other things that i need to see from her in order to successfully make a accurate decision about whether or not she is even worth being loyal to. Loyalty is earned through experiences. Now if you think this is selfish, or not fair, than let's sit back and think about what is and isn't socially acceptable.
So you believe that in the beginning of the relationship communication is not important because you are only trying to get to know the person? That to me is contradicting. You come to know a person by who they are and what their interests are. How will you know if the relationship can prosper if you do not involve communication? It is not complicated. The more you talk the more understanding the relationship will be. It eliminates the mind games and brings forth maturity by being outspoken about the expectations and wants from the opposite sex.
Not contradicitng at all actually Ms. J becuase I have got to know plenty women without communication on my behalf. Perception has and always will be important than reality. As long as she thinks that I am communicating how I really feel than she will feel comfortable enough to do the same.
Lets recap: the title of the article was "Why are they so disrespectful to me. Do they even care?" All I was trying to convey was that in situations where women are feeling that way it is usually because they are no more than a booty call to a man. In this stage communication from the man to the woman isnt important unless she becomes more valuable to him and moves up on the menu. No man should ever tell a woman that she isnt valuable, although most of them usually have an idea of what a particular woman's worth is to him. Therefore, if he were to "communicate" effectively and keep it "real" about that fact, than not only would he seem disrespectful and inconsiderate but he would most likely scare the woman a way and lose the chance to ever find out if she was worth keeping and advancing to a relationship with her.
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