"Keeping Your Man from Your Single Friends. Insecure Or Wise?"

I love when women find REAL love. Especially the women who, after many failed attempts, seemed to give up on finding their soul mate. Recently, I have begun to see a trend in women when they find new love and that is - they keep their men to themselves.

Many women stray away from introducing their new man to her female friends. We can look at it and say that the woman is being selfish or insecure or we can keep it real and appreciate her wisdom.

As women we yearn for that ideal man who we can settle down with, cater to, be catered to and loved by. Once that man appears into our lives we don’t want to share him with anyone nor do we want to put the relationship in any compromising situations. Introducing your man to your single friends can be risky. Now you may say this seems like an “insecurity factor” but how many times have you heard of jealous female friends going after their girlfriend’s trustworthy, faithful man? Let’s not be naïve. It’s good to introduce your man to your friends but at the same time there should be a distance kept between your friendship life and your love life. Joining both relationships too closely can be disastrous.

A friend of mine would always leave her man around her female friend. Whether it was at the club, the house, the mall or any other location, she would feel comfortable leaving her girlfriend and boyfriend alone. One day I confronted her because I took notice to the strong bond being formed between her best friend and her boyfriend. So I asked her why she allowed her boyfriend and girlfriend to be around each other alone on so many occasions. She replied “I trust them so I don’t see harm in it.” Well I wonder how she feels about that situation today. Seeing as her EX boyfriend and her EX girlfriend ended up hooking up, bearing children and are still together today. We can say things happen for a reason. But who lead that to happen? If you are allowing your man to spend more time with another woman than he does you, should you not be held responsible for another woman going after his love? Being smart about your associations and how they affect your relationship with your man is not insecurity. It is minding your own and taking care of your love life in a healthy, reasonable manner.

When I say to keep your friendships and intimate relationships separate I do not mean be shady towards your friends when your new man and your girlfriends are in the same vicinity. I am simply stating two important factors. 1. Whatever is going on in your relationship keep it between you and your man and solve it between you and your man because when you run your mouth to unworthy associates they find ways to make your situation even worse. And 2. KNOW WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE. As women we are too quick to give away the name of “best friend” to other women who cannot return the relationship. You can tell when someone is of your best interest and when someone is not. Your real friend would share your happiness not feed into jealous emotions and hope only the worse for you. Some of you have women in your lives that rather see you fall lonely with ten cats and you steadily call them your “best friend”.

I have two women in my world that I can trust with my life. I want my man to have a friendship with them because I know they have my best interest at heart and the friendship goes beyond a month’s time - it expands a decade. These women are a part of me and so is my man. There is only one detail that the two have in common- my man and two girlfriends have one thing in mind- my best interest.

When introducing your love life to your friendships you have to make sure you are introducing your love to the right individuals who are joyous for you two. You cannot put positivity with negativity because light cannot shine where there is darkness. Make sure your true girlfriends are the only women who know your man well enough. I know you’re proud of your new found love but you don’t have to flaunt your man because when a woman falls in love it is shown all over her. So keep your man and your friends at a healthy distance. Do not put your relationship in compromising situations.

We have all known those women who put on a good show and act like they are happy for our success but behind our minds we know that their jealousy is not allowing them to truly wish us well. You do not need women like this in your life. Those are the women who will try to destroy what you have and claim what they don’t- and in most cases that is your man. Most times they will not succeed because YES we have some good men out there. But the fact that they would even try should be a red alert to you. Do not be in such a search for friendship that you allow bad apples into your life and into your new love life. Let them go. Enjoy your new love. Shine girl! The only thing that matters between you and your man is YOU AND YOUR MAN! Keep it that way!

The written words of AJT.