Why do so many broken hearts exist? Because individuals seem to take on way more than they should when it comes to a relationship. They put themselves in a committed relationship knowing they aren’t ready to be faithful to anyone. I am a strong believer that you should not “give a relationship a try to see if you can be true to someone.” You need to know before you partake in a relationship. Just because you are unsure does not mean the heart you are committing to is unsure.
I think people lie to themselves more than they lie to their partners when they cheat. No one knows you better than YOURSELF therefore you have a clear understanding of what you want and what you do not want. I do understand that deciding to be in a committed relationship is a large step for some of us, which is why it should be well thought out before promises and commitments are made. To put yourself in that position when you know you still want to hang loose and roam the field is DUMB and not to mention SELFISH!
People try to prove something to themselves and the people around them when they enter into a union they do not want to be a part of; More so when they decide to take it to a higher level- marriage.
THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO DESCRIBE SELFISH WHEN- you agree to marriage knowing you are not ready. Why do people do this? I have heard this excuse so many times and I still cannot understand it –
“I may not be ready now but I will once we get married”.
What? That has to be one of the most foolish things I have ever heard. And it is very common because I have stood witness to so many unions where one of the individuals doubts the marriage but does it because they think they will eventually “get used to the idea of being married”. You need to know before you reach the alter, hell you need to know before you get down on one knee- and for my ladies, you need to know before you give him assurance that getting down on one knee and proposing to you is the right thing to do. I do not know many men who just propose to women if she has not lead him to believe it is what she wants.
While you “fake” love someone and “fake” a commitment towards a relationship it will cause the REAL individual who is being TRUE to you to take on REAL actions like proposing or imposing marriage.
Truth is, it’s not even about being real to the person you are with- it's about being real to you. Any relationship in life that is forced will not allow you to experience joy. You cannot gain happiness from doing what you really don’t want to do especially in love. People spend so much time in relationships they hate, with people they cannot stand because they are afraid of being alone. People get married because they don’t think they will find someone else willing to marry them. People fake love for the attention. If we just knew how to be true to ourselves and how to follow our heart’s desires and true intentions, then we wouldn’t have all of these divorces, all of these single parents and all of this baby momma drama.
We rush love for 3 reasons and those same three reasons are the explanations why we commit with our mouths but not with our hearts and those three things are –
1. FEAR OF LONELINESS. 2. DENIAL 3. DOING IT FOR THE CROWD.
How about you do something for you for a change! Don’t go breaking someone’s heart because you are incapable of loving him or her in the manner you promised. Skip the promise and if you can’t handle being faithful then find you someone who can’t handle it either.
We are losing too many of love’s optimists because they are being heartbroken by “hot&cold” people who commit with their MOUTHS but NEVER with their ACTIONS!
The Written words of AJT
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