The one question that can end a marriage before it even begins to take flight?--- “Baby can you sign this prenuptial agreement?”
Before jumping the broom many choose to protect their riches first by asking their fiancés to sign a prenup, which entitles them to leaving the marriage with just as much as they came in with. Setting a marriage up for failure? I think so.
The fact that you have to think about your entitlements before taking vows to spend the rest of your life with someone does in fact question your love in the first place. It makes it clear that your materialistic life is more valuable to you than spending your life with someone you love. Over the years we have been forgetting the true essence and beauty of marriage. When you get married you abandon the “I” the “me” and the “you” and you innovate into “us” “we” “togetherness”. Everything that is yours becomes your spouses and everything that is theirs becomes yours. However we can go on forever about the “traditions” and “moralities” of marriage but it will not deter the true proposal that has now been set on jumping the broom mainly by society and that is –
Two people can create any marriage they want.
You have marriages that are open, meaning spouses can have sexual relationships out side of their marriage without any penalty. You have marriages where both spouses have separate financial management systems meaning they do not share money at all and keep their financial lives separate. And then you have the prenuptial agreement which some can argue means that you are coming into the marriage for love and not expecting anything in return. But can that not be a cover up for the person who is asking their spouse to sign on the dotted RED line? Is the fine print “IF THIS DON’T WORK, DON’T EXPECT TO GET ANYTHING OR KEEP ANYTHING”?
I guess it is no surprise, through the first 3 paragraphs of this blog that I am against the prenuptial agreement however I do not deem an individual asking for one to be wrong. It is merely opinion. I find that when you go into a marriage with the mindset of “I have to protect what is mine because if this does not work I do not want anything going to her/him” then you should not be getting married in the first place. Things happen, yes I do understand that- But the characteristics and qualities of marriage are damaged drastically when we choose to keep things from our spouses and that includes finances. No this does not make me a gold digger- this is me saying that I am marrying this man to be with him for the rest of my life and if he is worried about “what if it does not work” then that tells me this marriage should not be happening in the first place. Why should that be on his mind? Does he think I am in it for his money? Do I have to prove my love by saying “I won’t go after your money once you ask for a divorce?” Since he obviously rather safeguard his money and valuables before safeguarding the marriage then he wouldn’t be the man for me anyways.
So you tell me – before jumping the broom would you sign away all rights to the financial life of your partner? It’s not about me wanting to gain stability by digging in the pockets of my man. It’s me valuing the true meaning of marriage and not signing a “what if petition” just in case it all goes into flames.
The written words of AJT
2 comments:
I am a pro prenup; it's not about being materialistic, it's not only about protecting what you have for yourself but doing it for the children you might have during the union. Also, they are good in the sense that they preserve the couple's expectations and forbid surprises in unfortunate case of divorce or death.
Toccara Mclachlan
Tocarra, you're absolutely right! It's not just about protecting your riches, although there's nothing wrong with that, it's about setting a realistic expectation. With the divorce rates going high, it only make sense for a couple to think ahead of possible consequences.
Ferdinand Draper
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