When did we enter this new phase of life where individuals have become so “independent” that in order to prove their independence they run from love? Independence can be hindering. Why? Because too much of it will leave you lonely and that is not just for women but men as well.
I recently wrote a short story entitled “Untouched” and its message was wrapped around an exceptionally successful woman who, every night, would have sexually exotic dreams about a man making incredible love to her. However, when she awoke she realized he was non-existent and that until she made time for love it will FOREVER be non-existent.
There was a reason why I wrote that short story.
On too many occasions I have heard my ladies saying, “It’s hard to find a man who can handle my independence and success.”
It’s almost as if, to them, this is a confidence booster. What is so great about admitting to yourself that your success is keeping you lonely at night?
Truth is, it’s not the success. What keeps you lonely is the mindset that your career is a burden to your love life. That is not true. I don’t care how much money you’re making or how much you aspire to make, and as cliché as this sounds - all the riches in the world will not make up for your empty bed. No one wants to dine alone. You need someone to share those professional accomplishments with. And it is not to my surprise that most of you “independent women/men” already know this but you continually convince yourselves otherwise to cover up the fear. You are fearful of loving because you think it will distract you from your professional goals. Therefore you construct these insane standards “Oh he has to be built, he has to make this much money, he has to be a business man.” Men, the same goes for you, “she has to have long hair, I don’t want her to work because I am the money maker and she has to wear this and look like that and blah blah blah”. These standards are A COVER UP! Most times the standards of a fearful individual are impossible to meet and they know that- it keeps them secure in believing “I will never find a partner who owes up to who and what I am”.
Here is the mix on that- if the love you find is genuine, it will not distract you but instead it will stimulate you to want more, do more and become more of that professional individual than you could have ever imagined. Real love progresses your individuality. It enhances your character. If it pulls you off your track of success and diverts you from your goals then it is a deterrent and that is when you need to walk away. Making up these sorry excuses of “ I can’t find a good woman because I think they all want my money”, or “I can’t find a good man because none of them can handle me being so successful” are mental afflictions you place upon yourself and it eventually causes you to give up on love.
You can turn into an old Sally with 10 cats if you want to or you can get off your high horse and realize that there are men out there who are just as accomplished as you and do not gain insecurity from the accomplishments of their women. A good man stands proud that his woman is able to achieve so much. For my men, a good woman will compliment your wealth not take advantage of it.
I praise you ambitious souls out there – BUT I also fear for you. When people get on this accomplishment route they tend to chase the wealth and the accolades and ignore their yearning sensation to be loved. After a long day of work would you not like to be welcomed by someone who loves you? Would you not want to be able to go home and make love to that sexy woman or that handsome man? Would you not want to be able to spend those riches on living your life to the fullest with the love of your life? Come on! Do not be a fool by continually allowing your independence to lead you down a road full of cat litter! Be proactive! Use that success to your advantage and mingle. You do not have to look for love but sitting on your couch with your laptop and sales figures or in that corner office until midnight making excuses as to why love “just doesn’t work for you”, will get you no where. You want it all? You will not have it all until you have loved and in return felt love by someone just for you.
The Written Words Of AJT
No comments:
Post a Comment