For those of you who are oblivious to the ins and outs of open relationships it means just what it is called: basically your relationship is wide open for physical and emotional freedom; meaning you can sleep with people out side of your “primary” relationship, while still maintaining a more intense and meaningful relationship with the person you have waiting for you at home. Easy to understand right?
But are the rules of an open relationship equal between men and women? I know many female friends who find themselves in open relationships without wanting to be in open relationships. They want to be monogamous with their men however men are known to stray away from that monogamy in fear of jeopardizing their freedom. Open relationships are all about keeping the independence to roam the dating scene and still have something good waiting for you at home. It’s like you have your cake and eat it too. Every person’s dream right?
Open relationships have to be the most honest relationships on the planet! Just think, while being in an open relationship lies become pointless. Your partner already knows the type of relationship being shared among you two therefore when they ask if you were out with another man/woman why lie? It is valid to say yes because the “contract” of an open relationship willingly allows the actions to take place. It’s like going home to your man/woman and them asking “hey baby where were you all night?” and you replying, “oh well last night I was screwing Jamie and tonight I am screwing you.” As crazy as it sounds this type of behavior is A-Okay in an open relationship. BUT what about possessiveness…
Men, who fail to admit to it, are very possessive. Even if they are not in an "exclusive" relationship with the woman, if they are sleeping with her and carrying on an intimate relationship with her, they will not be okay knowing that she is sleeping with another man. Men find it okay to have multiple sex partners but when that one sex partner who they are more attached to carries on the same actions as them their pride is immediately battered. They cannot handle it. Women can handle the situation far better than a man. Why? Because lets be real WOMEN ARE USED TO GETTING CHEATED ON. Believe it or not, but once a woman finds out her man has cheated she sets herself at ease because she does not have to worry about his sneaky actions anymore. Men are not used to being betrayed because they know women seek monogamy so much that they commit to holding a faithful relationship.
Men handle a woman's promiscuity completely different. Once men are approached with the situation of their women cheating or partaking in the means of an open relationship they cringe. It’s like they are saying, “girl it's fine for me to sleep around but you need to lock it down. I am the only one getting in that.” What fairness comes from this? Absolutely none!
Men want open relationships because in doing so their freedoms are not endangered however they rather their women be locked down to them AND ONLY THEM. They do not want their women to think it's okay for them to partake in the festivities of an open relationship. So what is an open relationship between a man and a woman? It is a man wanting his freedom but still wanting to keep “wifey” at home tending to his needs. What do you think? Are women “exempt” when it comes to open relationships with men?
The written words of AJT
4 comments:
I am currently in a relationship over two years now. My man think it is ok for him to mess around but it is off limits for me. So i went ahead messed with another guy and i told him about it. To be honest he is more faithful now than he has ever been. So some of these men need to know that we women are capable of anything. Now, i am not saying what i did was right i am just saying that was how i saw fit to manage the situation at that time.
I was in an "open relationship" for a little over three years. Initially, I was ok with it because of us being in the service and being stationed in two different countries. Once I got back to the states we had a brief falling out and " broke-up" then a couple months after that got "back together". During the time of our break I started dealing with someone else and caught feelings but was so in love with "open relationship" guy that I broke things off with the new guy; who wanted a commitment from ME... I told "open relationship" guy that he needed to make a decision. Once me mentioned the word "commitment" I jumped on it. However it was a catch, he was getting deployed and told me that once he finished his one year deployment he would consider having a monogomous relationship with me. I was torn because I loved him deeply. But being that it was open I started dealing with the other guy again. Now I'm on a healthy relationship with him (the other guy) and I'm enjoying the growth between us. The open relationship guy now wants a commitment and I have washed my hands with him. Don't get me wrong I still love him but can't go through all that pain again. I want to be wIth someone that knows what he wants. And I was blessed enough to have found him <3
Anonymous #1 - Why was it wrong what you did? People will only do to you what you allow them to do. You were allowing him to mess around because you never left however by going out and doing your own thing, you put some fright in him LOL. He realized "well damn she can do this too and i don't want her to so forget those other girls I'm sticking with her!" putting fear in a man starts with his pride and you hit it right on the nail. I bet he is faithful now. Just watch out for it and make sure that he continues to be. If he can't give you the monogamy you want do not settle. - AJT
Anonymous #2- Sounds like you found some good loving! There is nothing like meeting a man who knows he wants to be committed to you and only you. That is the jackpot! Just don't let those past feelings get in the way of loving that man wholeheartedly. I am glad you found love and happiness. I love how you did not settle. You wanted commitment and when you did not get it you went and found it in another man. Moving on can be hard but what is waiting for us is worth it. - AJT
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