Match.com, EHarmony, just to name a few, are popular online dating sites that many tend to cling to when regular, cordial, meet and greets have gone out of style. Online dating has good intentions – You are able to pin point the exact, perfect, mind blowing mate of your dreams by just checking boxes of your taste and once you have done that you wait for the site to fix you up according to your compatibility to others. It’s simple, stress-free and you never have to leave your home. But can it be a little too easy?
We all have special qualities that we want in a partner but if we were able to pin point the exact likes and dislikes of our future lovers and by doing so get the mate of our dreams would that not take away from the journey of love? My definition of the journey of love is when you get to know one another, you begin to understand one another and you accept one another even if some qualities are not of your liking sooner or later, if it is real love, you begin to fall head over heels either way. Another discrepancy we can look at when it comes to online dating is that it hides who we really are.
Lets be frank, many on Facebook will pose as someone who they are not. It is like a virtual world. You get to become the person you always wanted to be but not exactly who you are right now- whether that is editing your pictures to get rid of your flaws, posting pictures of how much materialistic possessions you own, flaunting your love life or lack of, posting statuses about your education and work ethic making you “all about your business” – well dating sites are no different. You can create the person you want to be. You can post pictures of yourself when you were 20 even though you just hit the big 4-0. You can fake your profession and your marital/relationship status! I don’t know how many married men and women are on dating sites but believe me THEY ARE. Anything that allows you to be who you want to be and not who you are right now is feasible via online dating and it pulls in a phony attraction. Is it not more convenient to meet someone face to face- even if they are lying about who they are, the disappointment is lessened because, unlike dating sites, you have not been chatting with this individual for months and anxious to meet them only to find that everything in their profile that attracted you was a pure lie.
My biggest conception with online dating is that I think it can really lower an individual’s self esteem. You should be confident enough to go out there and date. You would think that confident individuals should never have to turn to online dating because their esteem gives them surety that if they put themselves out there someone is bound to take notice. Less hiding behind the keyboard and more flaunting your beauty BOTH inside and OUT!
I would not say online dating is desperate because I know for many you are busy, tired of the disappointments and want the convenience of being home and chatting with someone who is “compatible to you”. I am sure dating can get a bit frustrating at times so if you are going to turn to online dating just bare in mind that no one is ever who they seem to be on dating sites. How do I know that? Because your main purpose is to get someone hooked to your profile therefore those on dating sites make themselves up to be the greatest gift to earth. THERE IS NO FINE PRINT TO ONLINE DATING because there are never any bad qualities posted about the individual.
And I know many of you are saying well what about compatibility? Well I say what is compatibility? It is basically someone who is “scientifically” the perfect fit for your personality. What? How is that calculated? No one knows these things! As people we are so unique that compatibility is a mere illusion. I have seen couples that others may rate – incompatible- but have made their love work without any care towards compatibility.
I am not saying online dating is pointless because according to the numbers many online dating couples last. What I am saying is do not believe in the hype and if you are going to choose online dating just be smart about it and do not limit yourself to just online dating. Go out and make yourself available to other options. Sitting at that computer editing your photos and lying about who you are is no ingredient to love. Love is unexpected and it is grown overtime. So is online dating worth it? I am on the fence. Me, a more traditional optimist of love, cannot conform herself to the keyboard and mouse pad in hopes of finding a mate. Others find it more fruitful. What do you think? Can cyber love surpass the test of time?
The Written words of AJT
2 comments:
I personally believe dating is dating. You face the same challenges online or "off-line". Being a single paernt I did online dating for about 10 years, even met my husband on Match.com.... it was easier to do the online thing with work, school, and my son. It works for some but not all.
I have tried online dating off and on and I feel it's no different than meeting offline. People always start off letting you meet their "representative" and who they really are will show with time. As far as looks, every phone has a camera. I always ask for a "right now" pic.i haven't found love online, but I have found some good people and lifelong friends.
Post a Comment