So They Cheated! That Does Not Give You Permission To Act A Fool!

Is there a right or wrong way to act when you catch your partner being unfaithful? As I researched for this blog I tried to find the “doctoral & psychological” ways to react when you have been deceived by the one you love but the honest truth is – there is no sure way. We are all different. Saying you should react one way is a bit judgmental because our characteristics and emotional triggers are so diverse. So while I cannot tell you how to act I can definitely tell you how NOT to act.

In my years on earth I have seen individuals react wildly when they find out their partners have been cheating. Some will throw pans; some will throw fists and some simply walk away holding in anger and frustration. NONE OF THESE “Coping Mechanisms” ARE EFFECTIVE.

Why aren’t they effective? (Well some may find what I am about to say to be quite strange but if you have been following my blog you would definitely understand where I am coming from). – If you want to fix your relationship after an unfaithful act reacting in a robust, violent, un human way is not the way to go. Many times when our partners have been unfaithful it is not just their issue it is a lingering issue in the relationship that may have lead to the dishonesty. Something in the relationship is lacking and many people in relationships who go through unfaithfulness do not want to just give up. They believe in their love and even when a mistake has been made they want to make it work. How would, verbal abuse, yelling, getting yourself in front of a judge or dismantling someone’s personal belongings help the relationship at its worse time? Many just act of their emotions. THEY DO NOT THINK! They do what seems right and all of a sudden it’s Jerry Springer in the middle of a workplace, the hotel where the cheater got caught or in the home of both partners. After that immature display you can forget about any kind of reconciliation besides the courtroom. This is reality its time that we stop acting like the rich fools we see on television and the TV shows that tell us it is okay to act a fool when we play a fool in the relationship. IT IS NEVER OKAY. We are adults. We need to handle every situation – no matter how drastic and upsetting it may be- as adults.

Now if you plan on leaving your partner after you catch them in the act then please LEAVE QUIETLY. I do not understand people who make a scene when things do not go their way. That is exactly what the situation is. It was not in your plans to be cheated on and when it happens your mind runs off of surprise and being overwhelmed therefore your actions follow that mindset and you tend to do stupid things. If they cheated on you what makes them worth YOU getting an assault charge? The biggest way to effect the person who has cheated on you is to leave quietly. Show you have no care in the world. Go get your things and leave! Put a little smirk in it and then if you need to scream, cry or vent please wait until you are out of sight of the person who cheated on you!

Whether it is your girlfriend/boyfriend your spouse, baby father or baby mother there is never a time to act out of place when you find yourself in emotional frustration due to unfaithfulness. Truth is – it happens. Fighting, cursing, and raging like you have no sense may temporarily ease you, but in the morning you will be regretting how immature you acted. Lets get it together. Is someone who hurt you worth anymore of your emotional stress?

The Written Words of AJT