"To My Mothers and my Wives and Devoted Girlfriends: Pursue Your Dreams!"

(Think of the movie WAITING TO EXHALE while reading this…OK here we go)

Being realistic - A woman in love will become vulnerable - but sometimes we make ourselves TOO vulnerable. We fall in love and make it our life’s ONLY duty to secure the happiness of another and think nothing of our own. We become afraid to excel in our talents. Wanting personal security does not mean you love your man or your family any less. More importantly it does not lessen your womanly role of the household.

No different from any other individuals, we too have dreams but once a woman gets married, falls in love or bares children those dreams unfortunately more than often get put on hold. We tend to the household and our men while they financially support our families and us. Well I also used to find this to be quite beneficial to the woman because she is secure. But really is she? Is she secure or has she inherited security from the enterprises and work ethic of her husband/man? This can be dangerous because let’s be realistic; things happen and the worse position to be in as a woman is to find yourself alone unsecure with nothing. No money, no plan, nothing to fall back on because you never invested anything in your life for you were too busy pleasing others putting your dreams to the side.

This blog is not intended to sound like an INDEPENDENT WOMAN of the world blog. I am totally against the whole “independent woman she got her own and don’t need a man” because speaking from experience I love my man and when I say I need him It’s real. My point is that the love I have for him does not pull from the love I have for me so I never gave up on my dreams. I love him greatly, more each day and at the same time I pursue my independent happiness in my writing; it is the best of both worlds.

What I strongly admire is a woman who once she gets her household and kids in order she goes back to fulfill her dreams. You cannot go through life blaming your relationships or your children for the reason why you have nothing to show for yourself in a professional sense. Being a wife does not take away from your personal dreams. If he can pursue his dreams then so can you. Being a mother does not take away from your personal dreams. While your kids are at school you go to school. When your kids are asleep you study. Difficult? Yes. Needs much dedication? Yes, but what dream happens over night? Three words: ambition, patience, and devotion.

I notice so many women dropping their optimisms and visions because the duties of a woman call her to drain all her time into being a mother and a wife. This is not the only fate of a woman. A woman is powerful and has much to give whether in a business sense or any type of societal contribution she hopes to give. No one said that once you become a mother or a wife that your business credibility goes out the door. Every individual in this world has the right to enhance their credibility no matter what position or circumstance life puts them in.

Many would say that it makes a woman selfish to want to pursue her ambitions because she “should be tending to her man and her family”. Why are we exempt from having it all? Can we not have the family and our dream? Can we attain a full degree of happiness having one and not the other? I don’t believe so. Dreams make a person who they are. Dreams are a reflection of the yearnings of the heart. Being loved by another is one of the most amazing feelings in the world however succeeding in your dreams holds a great abundance of happiness as well and luckily enough we do not have to choose one or the other. We can have both.

Ladies, we can sometimes find ourselves giving up on the ambitions and goals we had before we embarked on marriage and parenting. A woman is so giving that on more than one occasion she gives more to others than she gives to herself. And even worse are the situations where those she gave love and time to have gone astray. She then finds herself alone, eventually gaining enough strength to start over and enough wisdom gained to know her happiness matters.

BUT we don’t have to go through that difficult situation in order to learn this vital aspect of a woman’s life. Keep giving your love and admiration and continue to keep faces smiling but never forget to keep YOU shining. Do what you love because it will not deter you from giving love. YOU MATTER!

So remember love can make you vulnerable but love does not make you incapable. Your children are a BLESSING not a BURDEN. And pleasing your man is a beautiful thing but never forget to please yourself and understand that your OVERALL happiness is crucial and your dreams are worth being fulfilled.

THIS WAS TO ALL MY BERNADINES FROM WAITING TO EXHALE!! =)

The written words of AJT