I can never really commit to one topic because throughout the day certain situations arise and I feel confined to write about them over what I had planned days before. With that being said I am sure we have all noticed the amount of loss we have been struck with lately. Whether you have lost a close friend, a family member or an idol- it is life and when we least expect it life is taken. This blog article is not about the recognition of death but it is rather about the appreciation that we forget too willingly to conform to in the presence of our own homes and in our relationships. It should not take loss or a break up for you to understand the significance of your partner. You should understand their worth and appreciate their love while the relationship is going through rough, good, bright or dark times.
Appreciation is a 24-7 duty to the one we love so why do we lose sight of this? Do we get so comfortable in the relationship that the safety and security we believe we have attained diminishes our sense of appreciation? Either way tonight I hope you gain a bit from this blog; an understanding that you will only have ONE true love in this lifetime and when you have come in contact with this one in a million love you should never, not even for a day, take its worth for granted. Tonight I hope that after you read this blog you tell the person you love better yet you SHOW the person you love just how much you value the mere fact that they love you. Most importantly I hope you express to them that regardless of their flaws you see beauty, admiration, potential and perfection in what you two share. Perfection is not flawless but it is a state of acceptance and admiration to that acceptance. We view perfection in the wrong light too often…
I have a reader who lost their partner a few months ago and when I asked them what they missed the most about their partner they replied, “I miss everything. The things I used to think I hated about them are the things that I miss the most. I realize I could have shown my love so much more but I can’t dwell on what I could have done, I’m just glad I had the opportunity to know what love is and to receive it.” They could not be more proficient in this statement. It is a horrible fact that we only truly understand the significance of someone once they are no longer here with us.
I am guilty of too often complaining about the small things to my partner. Before saying good morning I would instead pick a fight. Before saying goodnight I would nag about what we did not do that day or what we should have accomplished that day. Instead of appreciating the love I was picking at small flaws that did not deserve the attention. However, I know I am not the only victim of this. I know that many of us find ourselves too often placing our attention on the negative instead of the positive. Love can be so easy. Love is not hard. I do not care how much people say, “love is hard but if it is worth it you fight for it” truth is that some of us are fighting the wrong battles. Some of us are fighting for “love” forgetting that if you are fighting more than you are loving IT IS NOT love at all. Please do not try to persuade me into this very popular statement - “that is how you love; you fight” how contradicting is this claim? Love is light and light has no presence in darkness so if your love contains meaningless, thoughtless fighting then you are living a lie and placing a stamp of love where love does not at all exist. Again, love is not hard; love is not pain. Love has obstacles yes but those obstacles should not pull you apart and lead you down a road of intense fighting and misunderstanding instead it is suppose to pull you together. It is suppose to build a union that no storm could tear apart. You should not be in competition with one another. Love does not associate itself with competition because in love you and your partner are one. You are an equal unit and although you are separate in body you should be one in mind, soul and spirit. That is what real love does; it binds two individuals in an untouchable union. Many of you are parading around pretending to understand this essence of love. I will tell you that there are less people who have it than individuals who clam to have it. Just mediate on that for a minute, “there are less people who have love than those who claim to have love.”
Learn to differentiate what you are putting effort into. If you are crying more than you are smiling you have been fooled. If you are yelling more than you are loving you have been fooled. If you are stressing more than finding this love to be a blessing then truth be told you have been fooled. When you hang on to a painful love you pass up real love that can be appreciated easily, loved easily and progressed easily. And for my lovers who have this love but are basking in security forgetting that everyday it should be glorified please do not wait until it is too late. Go hug, kiss or call your partner now and tell them why you love them and that you will always love them. When is the last time you have done this? Too long to count? Well start a new today. It is okay that this blog had to remind you just make it count because loss should not be love's visibility. Love should be visible and exalted when love is present.
The Written Words of AJT
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