What’s the deal with sex? Why is it such a necessity in the growth of a relationship? Many of us despise the wait because we feel we are “missing” a crucial aspect of a possible connection. I can understand the physical bond that is formed. I can understand the feelings of giving yourself to someone you truly care for. I can understand the comfort it “might” produce in the relationship But how important is sex to a relationship? Is it a definite must? We put such a large stream of importance on having a physical relationship when more emphasis should be exalted in other areas.
When it comes to having a sexual relationship some individuals need it more than others. It all depends on the values of the person. Some value a physical relationship more than an emotional relationship. Simply stated: THEY LOVE SEX. And if you are not conforming to their passion then the relationship to them is pretty pointless. Then you have individuals who can go months, even years without a sexual relationship as long as the love is present and the emotional, mental attributes of their relationship are being fulfilled. For me it’s about building a friendship and a comfortable relationship before bodies are intertwined. It is an uncomfortable position when you find yourself feeling like you are making love to a stranger. When you get to know someone more the sex is intensified. Plus you want to give your partner a reason to stay with you other than your skills in the bedroom because you MAY not always be able to have sex. Life is unexpected and physical capabilities wither in time. Should we not cherish the person first before we explore the body?
Sex can enhance the relationship but when it is done too early it can damage it to the point of no return. Whether one partner gets too attached or if the sex leads the relationship to move at a faster pace than both parties are comfortable with; Sex can be the maker or the breaker of what could have been a great UN RUSHED relationship. I am not the “NO SEX BLOGGER!” However I am an optimist of true, pure, comfortable partnerships and once the body gets involved it opens room for more CONs than PROS, which is why it is imperative to embark in sex at the right time in the relationship. Is there a sure date, time, month, or year to have sex with your partner? Of course not. Every relationship is different including the individuals involved. You know when it is time to have sex with your partner because it is not pre meditated. You may have thought about it before but the natural tendency of it happening is so much more powerful. If you have marked a date on your calendar in anticipation of the 3 or 4-month mark of your relationship in belief that this is an “appropriate” time to have sex with your partner, then you are going about it all wrong. It should come natural. Believe me when your bodies are ready to be intimately involved it will happen and planning takes away from the special moment.
***Now I know many of you do not want to hear about the “special moment” and all you want your partner to do is relax and drop the draws but to be real it all plays out in how you value what you can have in the relationship. You can argue with me until you are blue in the face but the honest truth is (and this pertains to life in general) you should value uniqueness. Tricks in the bed are easy to learn therefore it really does not fall into the realms of uniqueness. However, understanding the person you are falling for, knowing their quirky ways, their favorites and dislikes makes them unique and incomparable. You will never meet another person of that demeanor because no one is the same. Sexual positions can be duplicated & done the same by different individuals. Finding someone special who can never be duplicated – their poise, their smile, their mind, now that is worth and value!
Don’t get me wrong sex is amazing when it is with the RIGHT person but trust me if you embark on the journey too early that is all your relationship will ever be about. Set your priorities straight. Determine what you value. Explore the mind before you explore the body!
The written words of AJT
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