How important is our partner’s past? Many would agree, “the past is the past and who someone was then may not be who they are now”. Okay, that seems reasonable however does the same assumption apply to their “sexual” past? Lets get into numbers; does the number of sexual lovers someone has had in the past affect their dating credibility?
I would have to say - yes it does. Would someone known for their numerous sexual exploitations have people lined up at their door to date them? People may line up for sex but not to embark in a serious relationship with them. And this goes for both men and women. I do not believe in separating either even though as a society we often do. We all know that if a woman slept with 100+ men she would be labeled, however a man would get a high five. Well I don’t trust that idea- numbers for me are equally disseminated.
First and foremost I find that many of us are confused so please listen carefully when I say this-----PROMISCUITY IS NOT ATTRACTIVE as much as many brag about their sexual experience and insist on trying to make it look appealing IT HAS NEVER AND WILL NEVER BE attractive. No one wants to be with someone who is easily willing to give their bodies to another without any stipulations. Why want someone everyone else has had? People want a challenge. It is a known fact – We want what we can’t have.
I do believe there is such a thing as TOO MUCH experience. When it comes to sex, especially at our adult ages, you do want someone who is experienced. You want someone who knows what they are doing and how to please the body. BUT how experienced should they be? Once the sexual aspect of your relationship between you and your partner gets to a comfortable stage you two will be exploring more than one position and activities sexually but how boring can it become when you have a partner who has slept with so many people that everything new you want to try they have already done? That would kind of take the exploration and fun out of the sex. We all want sex to mean something when it is with the right person. That can be difficult to achieve when every sexual act is a replica of #140 in your partner’s Sexual Black Book.
Lets not forget the obvious and most crucial reason why the number matters- HEALTH RISKS! If your partner has had an enormous number of sexual encounters who is to say that you are safe? Do you trust them when they say they do not test positive for anything, or that they have not tested positive in the past? STDs are no joking matter and when you expose yourself to someone who has had multiple sexual partners you expose yourself to sexual health risks. Is anyone worth that risk? Is a relationship that can turn out temporary worth a permanent disease? So do you think a number matters now?
Yes the past is the past. Most relationships in your life will come and go however a sexual relationship stays with you- it may not stay with you emotionally but physically it does- and that holds a totally different weight. When you give yourself easily to multiple individuals it is hard for others to believe in your worth. People want to be proud to have you on their arm. They want someone who is one of a kind. They do not want to be embarrassed because word on the street is you have been around the block a few times. Numbers matter because quite frankly the more you give up the goods the more you lessen its quality.
The Written Words of AJT
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