You can agree or disagree with me when I say that the largest lesson in life, and especially in love, is the strength needed to let go. Temporarily, I touched on the subject in a few of my blogs but I have been holding off on getting into full detail with it. I guess the time has come.
Getting our hearts broken hurts. It’s painful to do just about anything when it comes to our daily activities. We don’t want to be at work. We don’t want to go out with friends. Most of the time we rather be alone even though, in most cases, that makes the situation worse. Either way, that heartache eats at us; but have you ever realized that it is not the heartache alone that gets us so down? It’s also the mentality and realization that we have to let go and eventually move on. Once that heartbreak strikes just thinking about being with someone, besides the one you previously gave yourself to, can leave you sick to your stomach. You cry, you curse and you hate the world all because of this one person who caused so much damage. When you feel pain in this manner, when you experience feeling lifeless and helpless you cannot dare to think of strength or ever being strong again. I’m here to tell you those thoughts are FALSE. The test of your strength in life, not just love, is that when things go wrong, when things fail, when we find ourselves not knowing how to carry on; the most important aspect is the strength to start moving. Not just physically, but we need to move emotionally as well.
Maybe it has been months even years that you ended that relationship in which you are having a difficult time letting go of. This person you left behind has moved forward and you need to do the same. Easier said than done? Yes of course. Everywhere you go probably reminds you of them. The thing about this blog is that I cannot tell you how to let go and move on in your heart because there is no remedy of letting go. There is no timeline, there is no “when my tears are done I will be over this”. All that is are cliché things that people tell you to make you feel better about your emotional fits. I am here to speak more on a subject that enhances the knowledge of letting go and that is WISDOM. The only way you will move on and let go is through obtaining wisdom. Wisdom is not obtained in a book, a relationship column, or eating ice cream alone at night watching movies that make you emotionally WORSE. Wisdom comes in understanding THE EXPERIENCE and WHAT WE GET FROM THAT EXPERIENCE.
Most importantly we must understand that nothing in this life is coincidence.
People will come and go and the wisdom you gain from experiencing a love lost is that you cannot fight for something that is not meant to be so why cry, have fits and dwell? Why will you emotionally, physically, and mentally drain yourself over the past? The past is here and gone and the future has opened up its wings to you and it is up to you to fly with it. No matter how bad this is destroying you understand that it was going to happen and that it had to happen in order for personal growth to take its place. The more you dwell and ask yourself why and call the person, trying to rekindle what obviously was never there, the more you waste precious time. We are so afraid to start over without that “wisdom” that starting over saves us.
Through this subject many have asked for my opinions on how to let go and forget their exes. Truth is letting go does not mean forgetting. Letting go does not mean tucking the memories away where you hope you will never come to think of them. Letting go means realizing that what was is no longer and being okay with that fact. Letting go is being more excited for what is to come rather than sad for what did not last. It’s appreciating your past. No matter how horrible it was you must appreciate it because if you have hatred towards your past you will never truly move on. You will be held in bondage of every sort because you are allowing negative emotions to play a part in your mentality. That is not letting go. In letting go nothing is held and nothing becomes a hindrance. You come to an understanding that this had to be and once you realize that life holds no coincidence, those questions about “why did he/she hurt me” or “what did I do to deserve this” or “why cant I get them off my mind” will not exist.
The reason you have trouble getting your ex out of your mind is because you have not trained yourself to do so. What I mean by this is, when a relationship is over and hearts have been broken the time after that is time for reflection. This time should be used to figure out your next move and to plan for the future. Sounds good! However, most of you rather jump into another relationship without giving yourself time to get over what was. Give your mind time to move on too. Maybe you had an occasional thought of your ex. So what? That does not mean you yearn for them or that you want them. Sometimes all it takes is seeing your exes’ best friend and you think, “hey I wonder what they are up to”. Maybe you see their car and your mind temporarily thinks for a second of their face. Do not be afraid! This does not mean you want them! Let me put it this way- if it is hard for you to talk about your ex to someone, if you are going to bed thinking of them, or when you see an ex you try and ditch or hide from them, then maybe you are not as over them as you thought and you have not fully understood the purpose of your past nor have you accepted that it is over. If you had an understanding of it the presence of them would not bother you. Anyone who can change your emotions when they walk in a room has power over you and if that is your ex maybe you should re evaluate your assumption that you have moved on. Please do not be afraid when they come to mind. Sometimes they are positive thoughts like “if I had never dated _________ I would have never met ________.” Or “If I had never dated ____________ I would have never gone to Chicago.” Sounds cheesy but its possible.
I know letting go can be difficult and I know we hate thinking about the past but the only way you are going to let go of your past is to be more understanding of its purpose. I cannot tell you if you do this you will forget or if you go here and take a break you will let go of what was because none of that helps. It is apart of mental maturity and growth. Kick the habit of living in your past and mature into understanding that the future holds so much more to come. Learn from it and understand that it had to happen and questioning why it happened is pointless. It’s all about acceptance. As soon as you accept what is over and done you will be able to move on to the great possibilities of your new life. This is your time. Cut the string that is pulling you towards that road already traveled and grab hold to the wings of the future. It’s a journey but it has a destination so go for it!
-The Written Words Of AJT
1 comment:
LOVE!!!!
-Smi
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