"What You Won't Do For Your Partner Someone Else Will!"

Cheaters. They are horrible, heart breakers, selfish, inconsiderate, liars, love-fakers, HORRIBLE PEOPLE --- This is the description we label to CHEATERS. We make them feel cruel and we willingly take the responsibility of pushing guilt upon their “inconsiderate” minds. I will admit, there are some individuals who cheat because they have a hard time being faithful to just one person, therefore they take on more than one individual and the crazy thing is- it pleases them no matter who they hurt. Still, I would not call them “bad people”, but I would say that when you know your capabilities do not include being in a monogamous relationship then don’t take one on. Stay single, mingle and feed your craving for more than one partner and make those intentions of a “non monogamous relationship” clear to whomever you are dealing with. It’s as simple as that. BUT what about our “good” folks who just so happen to slip up and cheat on their partners. Do we place this description on them? These “good” folks are the ones who treat their loves with respect, care, and admiration and just want the same in return. They give all their love to their partner and all they want is to feel the love that they provide. So when they slip up, what kind of person does that make them. Are they automatically labeled “bad apple”?

When it comes to love, one of the worse feelings is being in love with someone, giving him or her all your love and still not feeling as if you are getting that love in return. You are in this relationship with someone who you know takes your love for granted. They do not cheat on you, however they miss the little things. The simple gestures like calling in the middle of the day just to check on you, taking you out to dinner, telling you they love you, being intimate with you, showing you affection on a physical and emotional level and most importantly just being there to listen. These traits keep the love fresh and when we find that our partners are no longer providing that, it makes us feel insignificant to them.

WHAT YOU WON’T DO FOR YOUR PARTNER SOMEONE IS WAITING TO THAT AND MORE.

When our partners take us for granted it not only includes their lack of appreciation towards the love we provide but also the thought that we would ever leave them. They do not give us all their love because they do not feel it would make a difference in us staying or leaving. They believe that no matter how they treat us we will stay. That can be a dangerous thought for your partner to have because that lack of fear can cause them to treat you unloving on more than one occasion. So when we creep into the comfort of another and our partners find out it surprises them and it hurts them more than words can imagine. Eventually, you get labeled a CHEATER. But is it your fault? Is it your fault that the conversation you have been pushing to have with your love they did not want to provide? Is your fault that the intimacy you have been yearning for from your partner has been rejected on a nightly basis? Is it your fault that you have not heard a compliment from your sweetheart in months, even though you have been going to the gym, getting your haircut, keeping yourself well groomed and showing amazing improvement? The fact that you are neglected has lead you to find compliments, love, intimacy, and admiration from someone willing to provide what your partner refused to. So is that your fault? I believe both parties must take responsibility…

We fail to realize that when we have a partner who is pouring their emotions into giving us the best love we have ever experienced, we have to treat it just as precious as it is. Do not make your partner feel irrelevant to you when they are giving you their all. A good partner who is willing to love you in the best way they know how and in the way that you deserve does not come too often. I am sure we have all had our share of relationships with individuals who simply did not know how to love us. We have all been in situations where we settled for mediocre love. So when we finally receive the extraordinary love that we have been yearning for why do we take it for granted and not return that same love to the one who willingly gives it to us? But we are surprised to find that they found that love elsewhere? After several attempts of your partner asking you to change your ways and show them affection you become surprised to know they found someone to do the job you have been putting off?

After a while your partner will get tired of giving their love when you are unwilling to return it. And after a while they will become exhausted from setting. When someone is delivering their heart sincerely to you and you refuse to love them in the way they love you - guess what? They are settling by staying in the relationship. Just think, they are settling with YOU. How does that make you feel to know that you are someone’s mediocre love? There are many individuals out there who can honestly tell you stories about their love lost. The stories about how they took a good person for granted, a person who just wanted to love them past any fault, flaw or past letdown. Knowing that you have someone out there who was right for you but left you because you failed to love them deserving is a difficult emotion. Do not be the one who lets love slip away instead be the one who cherishes it.

We can blame the cheaters for their mistakes and say they were horribly wrong and know nothing of relationships or we can look at the big picture and get rid of the labels. Love that is not returned searches for another love that is willing to give back. Plain as that. Love that is one way does not last nor does it progress- it eventually withers and finds a love that is returned the same way it is given. So I ask again- whose fault is that?

The Written Words Of AJT